Complications

"Here come the big ones — Relationships — We all got 'em, we all want 'em. What do we do with 'em?" -Jimmy Buffett, Fruitcakes

It was about halfway through Saturday's community breakfast when my roommate James arrived with a couple of friends. I was manning the hash browns post and got to talk to them only briefly. But we got a lull in the action shortly thereafter, so I handed my slotted spoon to someone else, got my own plate full of food, and joined them.

James introduced me to Shellie, originally from Canada, eh, and to Vicki and her seven-year-old son, Nathan. We had a pleasant chat, and the five of us retreated to our (James' and my) house when things started to wind down. We arrived to find Justin, another roommate who is leaving our company in favor of somebody better looking next month, in the front room. Our little group talked for something like 45 minutes, at which point we all went on to other things we had to do. I went with James to deliver breakfast (he had made up a plate for her before we left) to Colette, James' not-girlfriend.

On the way there, James asked me what I thought about Vicki and Shellie. We talked about that for a bit, and then he asked me if I'd like to go out with either of them. (Or both, but presumably not at the same time. That sort of thing is frowned upon, even in Utah.) We talked about that for a bit. Then he asked me if I'd like to go out with Colette. I had been feeling a little pensive about the conversation to that point, but that question raised the discomfort level to full-blown awkward.

I first met Colette last December when James invited me to go to Temple Square with them to see the lights. And I found her to be interesting and fun, and a part of me wondered about asking her out. Eventually. But I wasn't really sure about where James stood with her. So I asked them, in as tactful and diplomatic a fashion as I could manage. Their answers, which did not harmonize with each other as much I would have expected, told me that there were some unresolved feelings on the part of at least one of them. This convinced me that pursuing her at that time—or maybe ever—wasn't a good idea for me.

I mentioned this to James, and he told me, in so many words, not to let that get in the way of asking her out if I wanted to. He said they went back a long way, but they weren't dating, they were just friends. And that may very well be. But I've never dated anyone that I know has dated a roommate or close friend. There are just too many potential complications. Yes, I know that there are really no rules for dating. But relationships are hard enough for me as it is. I don't need extra emotional issues like that lurking in the background.

Still and all, I agreed to join all of them (J, C, S, V & N) for festivities on the Fourth. More on that later.

After church at the Singles Ward on Sunday, I talked to some people I had met at ward activities last week. I also got a chance to talk at length with Paul, who I met many years and many hundreds of miles ago as a missionary. We were as close to being companions as possible without actually being assigned together. He's the fellowship committee chair, so he knows pretty much everyone in the ward. He introduced me to a lot of people at an activity last weekend, including a girl named Suzy. She's a nice girl, tall, attractive, and she served a mission in the land of my ancestors, so yeah, there was a little interest on my part. But she was also clearly interested in Paul, to the point that she was asking me questions about him, so that was that.

Or, maybe not. In talking with Paul on Sunday, I asked about things between Suzy and him. He said they had been out a few times and were taking things slowly, of which approach I expressed my approval. He also asked me for my opinions on a few things. Imagine, someone asking me for relationship advice. (I was tempted to say, "Here's what I would do. Now if you'll just do exactly the opposite, you should be fine." But I resisted.) We talked for maybe 20 minutes. And, at one point, he mentioned that if things don't work out between them, he had thought about sending her my direction. Here we go again.

So the Fourth of July rolled around. James got back from his weekend in southern Utah and we loaded up the necessary picnic supplies and left to rendezvous with the others. Shellie wasn't able to make it, but Colette brought a friend with her. She and I hit it off pretty well, I think, and we spent a lot of the evening talking. And unlike the other women named in this narrative, I think I have an active interest in getting to know her better.

There's just one small problem. In the course of our conversation, I found out that she works with a girl I just stopped dating. And by 'works with', I don't mean that they simply have the same employer. The girl I used to date actually just trained her for this job. I remember having conversations with her about this girl. The two of them literally have desks within ten feet of one another. And as I type up this account, I realize that the new girl has probably already started a conversation with the old girl, something to the effect of, "I met one of your friends last night...."

Nothing is ever easy.