A Few Thoughts on the Sequester

Note: I'm not an expert on politics. I'm just frustrated. Pardon my vitriol.

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“Jedi mind meld”? Really, Mr. President? That’s an egregious mixed metaphor. Anyone in the know could tell you that if there is one unforgivable sin among sci-fi fans, it is mixing Star Wars and Star Trek.

However, a large number of the aforementioned fans are either politically liberal or politically apathetic, so I expect that ultimately nothing will come of this little faux pas.^*

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If you’re spending more money than you make, there are two things you can do about it: Make more money, and spend less money.

To insist that we should (or even can) solve the deficit problem by doing one of these two things, but not the other, is ridiculous.

That’s not politics. That’s simple math. It’s common sense—except, apparently, to a substantial number of people who have to make the decision on how we’re going to get out of this deficit.

(For the record, I believe we need to spend a lot less than we currently do. I believe that we need to be much more careful about what we do with our money—especially with how much of it we send out of the country. But spending cuts can only go so far. We won’t be able to fix this thing if we don’t increase revenue. Sadly, I expect that means higher taxes.)

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A conversation I had with another teacher today convinced me more than ever that what I teach is necessary even for people who aren’t going into science as an occupation. One thing that chemistry and the sequester have in common is that they both demonstrate how bad most people are when confronted with big numbers.

People are freaking out over the $85 billion in cuts that will take effect later tonight. $85 billion sounds like a big number, and it is—but not in the context of a $3.5 trillion budget (if that’s what you call the way we’re spending money right now).

Eighty-five billion looks like this: 85,000,000,000

Three point five trillion looks like this: 3,500,000,000,000

Too big to wrap your head around? Don’t feel bad; most people have difficulty with numbers that big. Let’s make it easier by taking nine zeroes off each number. Now the numbers become 85 and 3,500.

So, in essence, this means that the sequester will shave $85 off a $3,500 operating budget. Or, to clarify further, let’s move the decimal point another two places to the left. The sequester saves us 85 cents on a 35-dollar purchase.

Big whoop-de-doo.

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But this is the thing that really gets me: Why are we surprised that this is happening? Why are we angry? Why did we not see this coming?

Because we’re stupid. That's the sum of it. The plain and simple truth of the matter is: We chose this.

Think for a minute. Of course this is happening. It’s happening because the same people who couldn’t—wouldn’t—solve the problem months ago (and who damaged our nation’s credit rating in the process, thanks a heap) are the same people who are making the decisions now. That’s insane. What makes us think it wouldn’t happen?

Last November, we had the opportunity to change things. We had the chance to vote out the President, to vote out the entire House of Representatives, and to vote out one-third of the Senate. So what did we do? We voted overwhelmingly to maintain the status quo. We said, with our ballots, that we thought things were just fine the way they were.

In what universe can we even pretend to think things might have turned out differently?

Albert Einstein once said, "We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them." Well, obviously. It doesn't take an Einstein to figure that one out. It's so obvious, I can hardly believe it needs to be said at all. And yet, apparently it does need to be said, because apparently we as a nation are so thick, so indoctrinated, so out of touch with reality that we thought the problem would magically solve itself when we did nothing to change the conditions that caused the problem in the first place.

But hey, at least we got to vote for it.

So, enjoy the sequester, everyone. We've earned it.

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^*After all, it’s not like he said there’s “no silver bullet against gun violence” or something inane like that.

Grade-mongering 101

One of the 200+ students I'm teaching this year e-mailed me tonight about his grade. For the sake of this post, let's call him P. In his e-mail, P told me that he's not satisfied with the C+ he earned last quarter and wants me to change it. Here we go.

First, a little history. P has had difficulties with his grade on two prior occasions. One of these was an online quiz I gave my students a month or so ago. The quiz was available 24/7 for about 3½ weeks, including the weeks before and after winter break. The quiz, along with the deadline to take it, was announced in class every day. It was posted on the class website and on the homework section of the board in class. The quiz was open book. There was no time limit. Students could take the quiz up to three times, and the system was programmed to keep only the highest score. It was set up specifically for students to be able to raise the Tests & Quizzes portion of their quarter grade. The average score on the quiz was about 18.5/20.

P came to me the Monday after the quiz closed to tell me that he had mixed up the deadlines and had only taken the quiz once. He wanted to know how he could take it two more times. I told him that he couldn't. I reminded him, as I had said several times in class, that all attempts on the quiz had to be completed before the deadline, and since he had only bothered to take it once, the score he earned on that one attempt was the score he would keep. He was displeased because his score (on an open book online multiple choice quiz with no time limit, mind you) was 8.5/20. He said he didn't think that was fair.

The second incident involved his semester final. On my final exams, students are given ten problems, each worth the same number of points. They choose eight of them to do, meaning they can skip the two problems they think are the hardest. Their exam grade is then entered as a percentage out of 100 points. (Other exams in my class are worth 40-60 points, generally.)

P received a submarine grade (below C level) on his final exam. He came up to me after class the day I gave the exams back to tell me that grade was "unacceptable". He argued that he should have received more points on several of the problems. Most notable was one problem where the students were asked to calculate the average atomic mass of an element using a weighted average. For his answer he wrote down the atomic mass from the periodic table (at least I know that he knows how to read it!) and the phrase "Work done on calculator"—even though my verbal instructions to the class at the beginning of the exam, the written instructions on the board at the front of the class, and the written instructions on the test itself all said "You must show all your work to receive full credit". Complicating matters was the fact that his answer did not include the appropriate unit or the correct number of significant figures—both of which were also addressed in the test instructions, both of which we talk about every single time we do a calculation together in class.

I gave him 4/10 on the problem, the same grade I gave everyone who did that.

He wasn't buying it. He said that he had found the correct answer and that he should get all the points. I explained—rather patiently, I thought—that although he had written down the correct answer, I had no idea how he had found it. For all I knew, he had just looked at the person next to him and copied their answer. I reemphasized the instructions on the test itself, the instructions that I had circled while grading the exam, showing clearly that he needed to show his work and use the right units and sig figs. He was unconvinced. He told me he deserved to get more points than I had given him. I told him in not so many words that wasn't going to happen. He said, "I just don't think it's fair."

Anyway, on to today's e-mail. He wrote me this note:

Hey Mr. M

For the term I received a C+ and I am not about to let that affect my GPA. I had several ungraded assignments and I don't know why? Please email me back. My grades are important to me and I plan to never have this kind of grade in any class, not just this one. Thanks

Here we go again.

Of all the thoughts that have run through my mind, the one I keep coming back to is this one: If you had a concern about ungraded assignments or your grade in general, why did you wait until a week and a half after the term was over to bring them to my attention? If (and that's a big 'if') there really are assignments that were never graded, that would have been a great thing to talk to me about before the grades were finalized—especially since I asked everyone to have all their assignments turned in a week before the end of the quarter so that we would have time to fix things like this before I had to finalize the grades.

I waited a couple of hours to e-mail him back. This is what I eventually ended up writing:

P,

I'm not going to try and resolve this through e-mail. Come and see me tomorrow (Wednesday) after school. Bring me a printout showing the assignments you think were not graded, and we'll take a look at it. If there is a legitimate problem, I'll do what I can to fix it. Realize, however, that you not agreeing with how I graded assignments (like your final exam) does not constitute a 'legitimate problem'.

I'll see you tomorrow afternoon.

I am brimming with anticipation.

'Twas the Night Before the Morning After

A Christmas Poem By Dave Barry (First published in the Miami Herald in 1995)

Read more here: http://blogs.herald.com/dave_barrys_blog/2003/12/index.html#storylink=cpy

'Twas the night before Christmas,

Or Hanukkah or Kwanzza or whatever religious holiday your particular family unit celebrates at this time of year via mass retail purchases.

And all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring,

Except Dad, who was stirring his third martini
In a losing effort to remain in a holiday mood
As he attempted to assemble a toy for his 9-yr-old son, Bobby
It was a highly complex toy
A toy that Dad did not even begin to grasp the purpose of
A toy that cost more than Dad's first car
A toy that was advertised relentlessly on TV with a little statement in the corner of the TV screen that said "SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED"
Which was like saying that that the Titanic sustained "some water damage"
Because this toy had more parts than the Space Shuttle
And speaking of space
Dad was now convinced that extraterrestrial life did indeed exist
Because the assembly instructions were clearly instructions were clearly written by beings from another galaxy.
And these beings insisted on Phillips screwdrivers
And Dad could not not find his Phillips screwdriver
In fact, he was wondering who "Phillips" was
And why he needed a different kind of screwdriver than everybody else
That was the festive holiday thought that Dad was thinking as he took a slug from his martini and attempted to attach Part 3047 - b to Part 3047 - c
Using a steak knife

But other than that, not a creature was stirring in the house

Although Mom was definitely stirring OUT of the house
Mom was at the Toys "R" Us store
In fact, this was the fifth Toys "R" Us store that Mom had been to that night
In her desperate quest to find the one thing that their 5-yr-old daughter, Suzy, wanted this holiday season
It was, of course, a Barbie © doll
But not just ANY Barbie © doll
It had to be the new model:
Abdominals Barbie ©
The one who came with her own little pink stomach-muscle-exercise device
It was the hottest Barbie © doll of all this holiday season
Every girl age 3 through 12 in the entire United States HAD to have it
Or her holiday season would be RUINED
And so of course the Mattel © Corporation
Which is run by evil trolls from Hell
Had manufactured exactly eight units of this doll
And the very last one in the world was in this particular Toys "R" Us
Which meant that the odds were against Mom
Because on this same festive night
Thousands of other frantic parents had converged on this same store
Kind of like the flesh-eating zombies in the movie Night of the Living Dead
Only less ethical
The store was a war zone
Mom had to fight her way into the doll aisle
Where, wielding a Tonka Truck like a club
She claimed her prize
And then, trailed by a screaming mob of rival parents
She raced from the store, leaped into her car and roared out of the parking lot
Barely missing the Salvation Army person
She raced back to the house, burst through the front door and staggered into the family room
Where she found Dad
Actually, she found Dad's feet
The rest of Dad was under the sofa
A strange gurgling sound was coming from down there
Dad, now on his fifth martini
Was trying to strangle the dog
Which, Dad was convinced, had eaten Part 8675-y
And just at that very moment

Out on the lawn there arose such a clatter
That Dad let go of the dog
And he and Mom went to the window to see what was the matter
And what to their wondering eyes should appear
But Santa Claus, yelling the names of reindeer
"Now Dasher! Now, Dancer! Now, Vixen, Now...Umm...Now...Dancer!"

"He already said Dancer," observed Dad
"He can't remember them all," said Mom
"I think one of them is Pluto," said Dad
"Wasn't Pluto the guy who was always fighting with Popeye?" said Mom
"You're thinking of Bluto," said Dad

"Now...Umm...Now Flicka!"said Santa

"Flicka was a horse, that I DO know," said Mom
"Do you think the reindeer are wrecking the lawn?" said Dad
"They are going up on the roof," said Mom
"Like heck they are," said Dad, who had recently spent $875 on shingle repair

But before he could yell at St. Nicholas to stop
Down the chimney the jolly elf came with a plop
He had a broad face and a round little belly
That shook when he laughed like a bowl full of jelly

Which was pretty gross

"What's so funny?" asked Dad
"You two," said St. Nick. "Why are you getting all upset about toys? The holiday season isn't about material possessions!"
"Do you have kids?" asked Mom
"Well, no," said Santa
"Hah," said Mom
"But I am beloved by children the world over," said Santa
"Well," said Dad, "you won't be beloved by our son if I can't assemble this toy"
"What seems to be the problem?" said Santa, coming over to take a look
"I'm stuck on Step 824," said Dad
"Who wrote these instructions?" asked Santa. "Martians?"
"Apparently," said Dad
"I used to be pretty good with tools," said Santa. "Hand me that steak knife,"
"Sure," said Dad. "Care for a martini?"
"Heck yes," said Santa
And so he went to work
And after a while Mom and Dad, exhausted, went to bed
Leaving old St. Nick in the family room
He said some unsaintly words
But he eventually got Bobby's toy assembled

And although he spent so much time that he was unable to visit the rest of the little boys and girls in North America
Not to mention South America, Europe, Asia, and Africa
This particular household had a very happy Christmas morning indeed

When Suzy came downstairs and saw Abdominals Barbie ©
And Bobby came downstairs and saw his incredibly complex toy

Which he broke in under four minutes
A new holiday record

But it was still a festive day
Especially when Mom and Dad told the fantastic story of their late-night visitor
Which, at first, the kids did not believe
In fact, even Mom and Dad were not 100 percent sure it had happened
Until Dad got out the ladder
And one by one they climbed up to the roof
And there they saw it....
As real as life...
A Holiday Miracle...
Reindeer Poop.

(And $1,097.36 worth of shingle damage)

Books I've Read This Summer

Since we didn’t have to move this summer as we'd had to the previous two summers (once because of black mold, once because our landlady was batguano crazy), I had a chance to do something this summer I've not done much lately: to read for pleasure. I was amazed at how much I'd missed it, how fun it is to see the world through the written words of others. I made the most of the opportunity. Now, as the summer comes to an end and autumn falls, here is a brief (?) inventory of what I’ve read since May 1st:

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Warped Factors: A Neurotic's Guide to the Universe by Walter Koenig
First and foremost, this is not a Star Trek book. It just happens to be written by, and consequently features several experiences of, one of the Star Trek main cast. Pretty entertaining; it’s an interesting look at what goes on behind the scenes in Hollywood if you're a typecast actor who also wants to be a writer (and director and/or producer). A fun, quick read, with several interesting photos.

The Disappearing Spoon: And Other True Tales of Madness, Love, and the History of the World from the Periodic Table of the Elements by Sam Kean
I love this book! It talks about many chemical discoveries and the huge (or sometimes merely trivial) impacts they had on society and history. It also had a lot of fun chemistry (and historical) trivia. It is occasionally technical, but never more than absolutely necessary. I learned a lot from this book—and chemistry is what I do for a living.

Made for Heaven: And Why on Earth It Matters by C. S. Lewis
I was given this small book as a gift a couple of years ago after serving as a teacher in the Ward we were living in. I recently found it again in a box, and decided to read it. It contains excerpts from two of Lewis’ books and one of his sermons (“The Weight of Glory”). It reminded me how much I enjoy (and am occasionally challenged by) Lewis’ writings. A quick read, it inspired me to read two of his other books that I’d never read before (see below).

Mormon Scientist: The Life and Faith of Henry Eyring by Henry J. Eyring
Written by one of his grandsons, this book is an interesting and rather unconventional biography of Dr. Henry Eyring (the scientist, not the one in the LDS First Presidency—that’s his son). Born in Colonia Juárez, Mexico, Dr. Eyring grew up on ranches in Mexico and Arizona, eventually going to college, earning a PhD., becoming a researcher in Germany and at Princeton University (whose faculty included Albert Einstein), and eventually moving to Salt Lake City to become the Dean of the University of Utah’s graduate program. He won every significant award in chemistry except for the Nobel Prize (some members of the committee later admitted that they hadn’t understood his paper). But this book focuses as much on his family and his faith as on his scientific achievements. It’s as much a look at the man as at the scientist, perhaps more so. It’s not the best-written biography I’ve ever read, but it was very interesting.

The Great Divorce by C. S. Lewis
Imagine being a recent arrival in Hell, and being invited to board a bus for a day trip to Heaven. Having seen Heaven, would you want to go back? In this extended allegory, almost every passenger, for a wide variety of reasons, eventually decides to get back on the bus and return to Hell. It’s an interesting look at the cost of Heaven. Primarily, the cost is a willingness to give up everything that would keep us out.

A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle
I don’t know how it happened, but somehow I made it through adolescence without ever reading this book. I decided it was time to change that. I enjoyed the book, and was pleasantly surprised that, being a Newbery Award winner, it didn’t have a downer ending. I haven’t read any of the others in the series yet, but I’ll get to them at length, I expect. Maybe Sophia and I will read them together.

Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
I don’t know how it happened, but somehow I made it through my high school and college literature classes without ever reading this book. With Bradbury’s death earlier this year, I decided to give it a read. I’m often not a big fan of the books English teachers require their students to read (Flowers for Algernon, Lord of the Flies, etc.), but this one is good. It’s relevant. Although we don’t live in constant terror of nuclear war as we did when the book was written, the future the book presents is eerily prescient: People surround themselves with a constant stream of information, all of it trivial, all of it bland and calculatedly inoffensive, all of it designed to distract them from their own lives. There are big screen TVs on every wall, made-to-order fiction you can watch and listen to 24/7, vicarious social interactions that require no actual contact with other human beings. Sound familiar?

A Grief Observed by C. S. Lewis
This was a haunting book, taken from Lewis’ journals kept immediately after his wife’s death. He opens his soul to his readers, allowing us to follow him in his journey through grief, despair, and doubt to acceptance and reaffirmation of faith. It’s a courageous book to have written and to have shared.

Starship Troopers by Robert A. Heinlein
I’ve read this one before, more than once; I checked it out and re-read it primarily to find a quote to use in my AP class. The book is either a classic bit of military science fiction or an extended author tract, depending on who you ask. Maybe both. I enjoy the book for both reasons (and in some respects, despite them). It is interesting to examine the question of what a civilization would be like if elected officials—and the citizens who elected them—had to prove, perhaps at the peril of their own lives, that they could place the welfare of their society ahead of their own ambitions. Oh, and there’s powered battle armor, too.

Frankenstein: or, the Modern Prometheus by Mary Shelley
This was the most surprising book of the summer for me. I’d seen the more cinematic portrayals of Frankenstein’s Creature: grotesque, slow and trudging, barely verbal. The literary Creature is quite different: grotesque, true, but also quick and athletic, intelligent, and extremely articulate. (I would say ‘loquacious’, but everyone in the book is loquacious. It’s the nature of books written in that period.) While I’ve most often heard the book described as a treatise on the risk of hubris in science, I got something entirely different out of it. To me, the moral of the story lies in how the Creature became the Monster: Because of the treatment it received from its creator and others. Had the creature been treated kindly despite its deformities, it could have been (and even expressed a desire to be) a great asset to society instead of a killer. What is our treatment of the people around us making of them?

Dr. Joe & What You Didn't Know: 177 Fascinating Questions About the Chemistry of Everyday Life by Dr. Joe Schwarcz
This is exactly what it says on the tin: Questions (and answers, thankfully) about how chemistry (and science in general) shows up in daily life. Dr. Joe has several books like this. They make for a good read, explaining things in scientific and historical detail without being too technical for non-scientists. I highly recommend the whole series.

How to Live Safely in a Science Fictional Universe by Charles Yu
This was probably the most challenging read of the summer for me. The story is told as a first person narrative, and the protagonist (who has the same name as the author) is a time machine repairman. His story is, therefore, nonlinear. With numerous references to physics and language, he discusses the difficulties of living outside of time. He frequently mentions two companions: TAMMY, the melancholy computer operating system who runs his time machine, and a nonexistent but ontologically valid dog named Ed. He writes about receiving a book (which has the same name as the novel) from his future self, whom he then shoots, trapping himself in a time loop. Confusing? Yes, more than a bit so. Mostly, though, the book as about his efforts to find and connect with his family, especially his father, something he never managed to do in the past.

The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie: A Flavia de Luce Mystery by Alan Bradley
My friend Wendy recommended this book, and I’m glad she did. It’s the story of Flavia, a precocious eleven-year-old who unexpectedly finds herself in the middle of a murder investigation in 1950s England. Armed only with her sharp wits, an exemplary knowledge of chemistry, her faithful bicycle Gladys, and the final word of a dying man, Flavia seeks to discover the identity of the man who died in her family’s cucumber patch and to exonerate her reclusive father, who’s been accused of the murder. It’s a good read, and as a pleasant surprise, the chemistry is solid.

There were a few other things, too: several graphic novels (X-Men, Avengers, and Justice League titles, mostly), short stories (like Bradbury's "There Will Come Soft Rains"), and aftermarket analyses of the symbolism of The Lord of the Rings and The Chronicles of Narnia. And of course I had to redesign my Honors classes for the coming year thanks to a new curriculum map the district gave us last fall, so I spent a lot of time with my textbook. But the books listed above were the highlights.

And if you're curious, here's what on my reading list for the next few weeks:

The 101 Most Influential People Who Never Lived: How Characters of Fiction, Myth, Legends, Television, and Movies Have Shaped Our Society, Changed Our Behavior, and Set the Course of History by Dan Karlan, Allan Lazar and Jeremy Salter

The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark by Carl Sagan

What have you been reading lately?

Ghost of a Chance

Hold on tight
Fight it tooth and nail
You are right
You just cannot fail
Seek to change
Your circumstance
While there's a ghost of a chance

Ride your luck
Opportunity
What you see
That's your destiny
Grasp it now
Take your stance
While there's a ghost of a chance

Plain as day
All is black and white
Stand your ground
You can win the fight
But don't give up
This true romance
While there's a ghost of a chance

Outnumbered now
Face the enemy
Against the odds
Seal your victory
Seize the day
Raise your lance
While there's a ghost of a chance

(John Wetton / Geoff Downs)

The New Pledge

At the insistence of the state legislature, we've gone from saying the Pledge of Allegiance in school on Monday morning each week to saying it every day. In light of our nation's current political climate, maybe this is what our students should be reciting at the beginning of school each day:

"I pledge allegiance to the (Democratic/Republican) Party of the United States of America, and to the political ideology for which it stands: One nation, under (Barack Obama/Mitt Romney), divided in our favor, with liberty, justice, and (mandatory health insurance/unlimited access to firearms) for all."

I am SO ready for this election cycle to be over. I almost don't care who wins any more, as long as it ends.

The Wisdom of Dr. Henry Eyring

I've been reading the book Mormon Scientist: The Life and Faith of Henry Eyring, written by his grandson, Henry J. Eyring. I feel a kind of connection to Dr. Eyring, given the amount of time I spent in the building named after him at the University of Utah (and the fact that I took Thermodynamics from his son, Dr. Ted Eyring). I like the fact that he saw no inherent contradiction in being a scientist and a man of faith. He was very good at both.

Here are couple of quotes from Dr. Eyring on the subject of science and faith:

"So I do not worry in the least about problems like which one of my ancestors was a monkey, if any of them. However the Lord did these things suits me fine. There is nothing I can do about it anyway. It is all over, and I am just exactly like I am however He did it. And so for the life of me I am never able to worry along with the people who think science is a threat to their religion. It just is not. It could not be, and if it is, you had better fix your religion, or your science, or both." (p. 170)

In response to a man who wrote him calling for a conference of LDS scientists for the purpose of 'dismantling Evolution once and for all', he wrote this:

"As a devout Latter-day Saint, the important fact for me is that the Lord is directing the affairs in His Universe, not exactly how he does it. Whether or not some organic evolution was used or is operating seems to me to be beside the point. He is infinitely wise. I just work here. If He told me in detail how he works I'm sure I wouldn't understand much of it. The effort spent on the crusade you envision would be better spent trying to understand a little better how God works. Sorry if we see things a little differently." (p. 173)

This approach seems perfectly sensible to me.