All Now Mysterious...

Tuesday, January 30, 2018

The State of the So-Called Union

The State of the Union? Here’s how I see it:

The Dow Jones Industrial Average is at an all-time high. But so is xenophobia. Our President blames ‘both sides’ when a white supremacist drives his car into a crowd and kills someone. The President keeps pushing for a wall that won’t work and that will only drive the country deeper into debt. Meanwhile, immigrants who have been here for years—decades, in some cases—are being unceremoniously deported back to their ****-hole countries, often without their families. Travel bans based on thinly-veiled anti-Muslim paranoia continue to wind their way through our courts.

We just experienced a government shutdown. Partisanship in the House and Senate is keeping either side from getting any real work done. The Congressional majority has tried and failed on numerous occasions to ram through legislation to undo the Affordable Care Act and other laws they don’t happen to like, seemingly without regard to what their constituents actually want and value. On the other hand, Congress did manage to pass a tax bill that, according to non-partisan analysis, gives little to no relief to the middle and lower classes, but provides big tax breaks for the wealthiest Americans and the corporations they own and manage.

The President’s Twitter misadventures grow more bizarre and unstatesmanlike by the day. Random and unprovoked attacks on Hillary Clinton and other Democrats, demonstrable lies and misrepresentations about easily verifiable events and facts, and personal attacks against ‘fake news’ media outlets are the routine of the day. Anyone who disagrees with these tweets or tries to point out the factual inaccuracies is shouted down, shamed, and bullied. Above all that, the President is in a personal p*ssing match with the leader of North Korea; the only reason we’re not at war yet is that Kim Jong-il is the only world leader more bombastic and incompetent than ours.

We’ve pulled out of the Paris Accords, because our government leaders are more willing to listen to the 3% of scientists who agree with their political and economic agenda than the 97% who agree that climate change represents a credible threat to the future of life on this planet. But this is hardly surprising; for the past year, government science agencies have been defunded and their social media accounts gagged. Agencies like the EPA and the National Science Foundation can only publish what Capitol Hill approves.

We have a climate change denier at the head of the Environmental Protection Agency, a brain surgeon running Housing and Urban Development, and a Secretary of Education who has never attended a public school (and neither have her children). The White House has become a revolving door of staff appointments and resignations, and the sole voice of reason at the top levels of government appears to be a Marine Corps general nicknamed Mad Dog. And there’s still that little Russian election issue that nobody wants to talk about.

Our nation is less respected, less truthful, less welcoming, and less stable than it was a year ago. President Trump ran for office on the promise that he would Make America Great Again©. By all independent metrics, that hasn’t happened and isn’t happening.

But hey, the Dow is up, so it’s all good, right?

Friday, January 05, 2018

My Latest Brilliant Plan for Fixing College Football’s National Championship Mess

This will never, never, ever actually happen, not ever. But if I were the King of College Football, as powerful as I am benevolent and unfettered in my righteous autonomy, this is exactly what would happen.

So now we have a playoff, and that’s a good thing. Teams can now realistically say that they played their way into the national championship game. But the playoff are still chosen somewhat arbitrarily. This year’s playoff features--you guessed it--Alabama, who not only didn’t win the SEC, but didn’t even win the SEC West. They got waxed by Auburn, who then got waxed by Georgia in the SEC Championship game. Nevertheless, the committee decided that Alabama, arguably the third best team in the SEC, was one of the four best teams in the nation and gave them a place in the semifinals. Meanwhile, B1G champion Ohio State and PAC-12 champion USC played each other in a Cotton Bowl that made it pretty clear that neither team wanted to be there.

The idea of having five major conferences represented in a four team playoff is inherently problematic, of course. One conference is always going to get left out. Except for this year, when two conferences got left out.

My bold solution? It’s twofold: expand the tournament, and rearrange the conferences.

At present, the Power Five (P5) conference membership numbers look like this:

ACC: 14 (plus Notre Dame)
B1G: 14
Big XII: 10
PAC-12: 12
SEC: 14

That’s a total of 65 teams currently participating in P5 football. In practical terms, these 65 teams are the only with with a shot at the playoffs. No team in the so-called Group of Five (G5: American Athletic, Conference USA, Mid-American, Mountain West, and Sun Belt conferences, plus three or four independents) has any chance whatsoever at playing for a national title. More on that in a bit.

Anyway, here’s my idea: Take these sixty-five teams and add five historically high-achieving G5 teams, making a total of 70. Divide these 70 teams into seven Regions based on history and geography. The Power Five conferences become the Power Seven (P7) Regions. Each team plays all nine other teams in its Region each year--seven true round robins to determine seven Region champions. These seven champions, along with the highest ranked conference champion from G5, are the eight playoff participants. The committee’s job will be to seed the teams as they see fit, but will have no voice whatsoever in determining who gets into the playoff. Playoff qualification will be determined strictly on the field.

This will necessitate a few logistical changes, of course. First, there will be no conference championship games for the P7. Region champions will be determined during the regular season via the round-robin schedule. The regular season will conclude Thanksgiving weekend, with the playoffs beginning two weeks later. This still leaves time for a twelve game schedule for the P7: nine Region games, at least one game against another P7 school each year (Sorry, K-State) and two games against old rivals, G5 teams, FCS teams, etc.

The first round of playoff games will be held at campus sites; with the #1 - #4 seeds hosting the #8 - #5 seeds, respectively.  Semifinal and final games will be held at neutral sites, with semifinal games perhaps being played as part of the bowl season.  Semifinal games will be played just before Christmas, with the national championship on New Year’s Day.

What about bowl games? Well, for the 122 FBS teams not participating in the playoffs, nothing changes. The conference realignment will undoubtedly lead to some changes in bowl affiliations, but that can’t be helped.*

Okay, so what are the seven Regions? So glad you asked.  Take a look:**


  • Region 1: Boston College, Kentucky, Louisville, Maryland, Navy, Notre Dame, Penn State, Pitt, Rutgers, Syracuse.
  • Region 2: Clemson, Duke, North Carolina, NC state, Tennessee, Vanderbilt, Virginia, VA Tech, Wake Forest, West Virginia.
  • Region 3: Alabama, Auburn, Florida, Florida State, Georgia, GA Tech, Miami, Mississippi State, Ole Miss, South Carolina
  • Region 4: Illinois, Indiana, Michigan, Michigan State, Minnesota, Northern Illinois, Northwestern, Ohio State, Purdue, Wisconsin
  • Region 5: Boise State, BYU, Colorado, Iowa, Iowa State, Kansas, Kansas State, Missouri, Nebraska, Utah
  • Region 6: Arkansas, Baylor, Houston, LSU, Oklahoma, Oklahoma State, Texas, Texas A&M, TCU, Texas Tech
  • Region 7: Arizona, Arizona State, Cal, Oregon, Oregon State, Stanford, UCLA, USC, Washington, Washington State

Yeah, I know, I know, these Regions aren’t balanced. Yet. Give it time. If every school in this arrangement knows that it can play its way into the national championship picture in any given year, recruiting should be equalized in short order.

So, let’s look at hypotheticals. For this season, our champions would have been something like this:

  • Region 1: Penn State
  • Region 2: Clemson
  • Region 3: Georgia
  • Region 4: Ohio State
  • Region 5: Boise State
  • Region 6: Oklahoma
  • Region 7: USC
  • G5 participant: Central Florida


The committee would be responsible for seeding these eight teams, leading to a bracket looking something like this:

  • #8 Boise State at #1 Clemson
  • #7 Central Florida at #2 Oklahoma
  • #6 USC at #3 Georgia
  • #5 Penn State at #4 Ohio State


From there’s it’s a single elimination tournament. Win, or go home.

Eight teams. Seven games. One national champion determined entirely on the field.

That’s how it would be, were I the King of College Football.


--
*Also, under my reign, bowl games can no longer be named solely after their sponsors. “TaxSlayer.com Bowl”? Give me a break.)

**For the curious, the five teams I elevated were Boise State, BYU, Houston, Navy, and Northern Illinois. In a similar exercise, someone else might have chosen different teams. That’s fine. Different schools might lead to slightly different conference arrangements. (For example, you could replace Navy with Central Florida by shifting West Virginia to Region 1 and South Carolina to Region 2. Cincinnati could be swapped directly for NIU. And so forth.) Otherwise, it works exactly the same.

Wednesday, January 03, 2018

In Memoriam

In a way, this is the end of an era for me. When I joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the Prophet and President of the Church was Spencer W. Kimball. I couldn’t even hazard a guess who his counselors were. When I went to college, the Prophet was Ezra Taft Benson and I can tell you who his counselors were: Gordon B. Hinckley and Thomas S. Monson. The same was true when President Benson died and President Howard W. Hunter was called to the Prophetic office.  Upon his death shortly thereafter, President Hinckley was called to be the prophet, and naturally President Monson was his first counselor.

For pretty much my entire life in the Church, Presidents Hinckley and Monson have been in the First Presidency. Now they have both been called home.

Much has been said about President Monson’s reunion with his wife, Frances, and rightfully so. But I can’t help but believe that President Hinckley was also there waiting to greet him when he arrived.

Thank you for your service, your example, and your teachings, President Monson.  Thank you for making this world, and this Church, a better place by your service.  May God bless your family as they mourn your passing and celebrate your life.