Kill The Mascots! (Part 2)

In a Fark.com discussion thread about the whole "hostile and abusive mascots" issue, someone raised the point that now it's just a matter of time until someone (PETA^*, maybe) decides that the use of animal nicknames is also hostile and abusive, and animal mascots will also be outlawed.

This got me to thinking. Having looked at the various mascots and team nicknames that are out there, I've found literally dozens that could be considered offensive for various reasons. So I present here, as a public service, a comprehensive list of offensive nicknames for teams in major North American professional sports. This includes the NFL, NBA, NHL, CFL, MLS, and MLB.^**

(There was no reason to include any college teams, of course, since the NCAA has already called for the removal of the most offensive mascots. Those beyond Native American names will certainly be following soon.)

The List:

Kansas City Chiefs, Cleveland Indians, Atlanta Braves, Chicago Blackhawks
Offensive to Native Americans

Washington Redskins
Extremely offensive to Native Americans

Edmonton Eskimos
Offensive to Native Canadians

Boston Celtics
Offensive to Gaelic Americans

Dallas Cowboys, Houston Texans, Dallas Mavericks, San Antonio Spurs, Portland Trail Blazers, Texas Rangers, Calgary Stampeders, Ottawa Renegades, Saskatchewan Roughriders
Supports those who oppress Native Americans

Miami Dolphins, Baltimore Ravens, Indianapolis Colts, Denver Broncos, Philadelphia Eagles, Chicago Bears, Detroit Lions, Atlanta Falcons, Arizona Cardinals, Seattle Seahawks, St. Louis Rams, Chicago Bulls, Milwaukee Bucks, Atlanta Hawks, Charlotte Bobcats, Memphis Grizzlies, New Orleans Hornets, Baltimore Orioles, Toronto Blue Jays, Florida Marlins, Philadelphia Phillies, Chicago Cubs, St. Louis Cardinals, Arizona Diamondbacks, Pittsburgh Penguins, Boston Bruins, Anaheim Mighty Ducks, Phoenix Coyotes, San Jose Sharks, Chivas USA, Hamilton Tiger-Cats, British Columbia Lions
Promotes exploitation of animals

Toronto Maple Leafs, Atlanta Thrashers
Promotes exploitation of plants

Green Bay Packers, New Jersey Nets
Promotes the harvesting and consumption of animals

Cincinnati Bengals, Jacksonville Jaguars, Carolina Panthers, Minnesota Timberwolves, Detroit Tigers, Florida Panthers
Promotes exploitation of endangered species

Toronto Raptors
Promotes exploitation of an extinct species

New England Patriots, New York Yankees, Washington Nationals, Montreal Canadiens, Vancouver Canucks, New England Revolution
Promotes jingoistic nationalism

Sacramento Kings, Kansas City Royals, Los Angeles Kings
Promotes oppressive nondemocratic forms of government

Philadelphia 76ers, Ottawa Senators, Washington Capitals
Supports government bureaucracy

New York Jets, Golden State Warriors, Winnipeg Blue Bombers
Promotes war as a non-peaceful means of resolving conflict

Edmonton Oilers, Detroit Pistons, Indiana Pacers, Seattle SuperSonics
Promotes the use of non-renewable fossil fuels

Oakland Raiders, Minnesota Vikings, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Los Angeles Clippers, Seattle Mariners, Pittsburgh Pirates, Toronto Argonauts
Promotes looting, piracy, and crime on the high seas

Cincinnati Reds
Promotes communism, also potentially offensive to Native Americans

Buffalo Bills, San Diego Chargers
Promotes excessive consumer debt

Tennessee Titans, New York Giants, San Francisco Giants
Offensive to short people; also potentially offensive to tall people

New Orleans Saints, Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, San Diego Padres
Offensive to atheists

Carolina Hurricanes, Tampa Bay Lightning, Colorado Avalanche, Miami Heat, San Jose Earthquakes
'Acts of God', so also offensive to atheists

Orlando Magic, Washington Wizards, Kansas City Wizards
Promotes study of the occult

New Jersey Devils, Tampa Bay Devil Rays
Promotes Satanism

Pittsburgh Steelers, San Francisco 49ers, Denver Nuggets
Promotes environmentally-destructive mining

Houston Rockets, Phoenix Suns, Houston Astros, Philadelphia Flyers, Dallas Stars, New York/New Jersey MetroStars, Los Angeles Galaxy
Promotes the diversion of funds from necessary social programs to space exploration

Calgary Flames, Chicago Fire
Promotes arson

Cleveland Cavaliers, Buffalo Sabres
Encourages the carrying of weapons

Los Angeles (originally Brooklyn) Dodgers
Encourages jaywalking

Milwaukee Brewers
Contributes to alcoholism

Utah Jazz, St. Louis Blues
Promotes musical elitism

Boston Red Sox, Chicago White Sox, Columbus Blue Jackets
Promotes fashion elitism; may also contribute to jingoistic nationalism

Well, you get the idea. It's amazing how crass, uncaring, and generally insensitive we sports fans are, isn't it? Shame on us.

It's a good thing we have the NCAA to show us the way.

--
^*In this context, PETA does not stand for "People Eating Tasty Animals". Sorry, Curtis.

^**I haven't included the WNBA because I figured there's no way a women's sports league could be using offensive nicknames or mascots. They're so much more sophisticated and sensitive than we men are.