Declaration

When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for tenants to separate themselves from their landlord or landlady and assume other living arrangements for the benefit of their family, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident: that tenants and landlords are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, and that among these are Life, Liberty, the pursuit of Happiness, and a modicum of privacy. --That when a contract is entered into by both parties in good faith, the property of the apartment becomes the personal and private home of the tenants as established by law and by good old fashioned common sense, and that the rights of the landlord or landlady are limited by the same.

The history of the present landlady is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of absolute control over the apartment, which control ought to belong to the tenants by virtue of paying rent in full and in a timely fashion each month. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

She has compromised the security and safety of our home by refusing to provide a door between her property and ours that we can lock.

She has further compromised the security and safety of our home by frequently leaving her own front door wide open for all to see, and by leaving a key to her front door in an unsecured location known to many of our neighbors, both of which actions, as a consequence of the above, provide unguarded access to our home through hers.

She has, on numerous occasions, entered our home without providing twenty-four hours’ notice as required by local law and common courtesy.

She has transferred to the tenants certain duties that were understood to be her own responsibility, e.g., filling the water softener.

She has misrepresented the amenities of the apartment by advertising heating and air conditioning without disclosing that she would maintain sole control over their use.

She has forbidden us to use nails, screws, or other permanent fasteners to hang pictures, clocks, or other decorations in our home under threat of retention of our entire security deposit.

She has allowed her dog to bark unhindered at our windows at all hours of the day and night.

She has made numerous comments, both critical and unsolicited, concerning many aspects of our private lives, including but not limited to the number of boxes we have, the hours we keep, our attendance at church, and the manner in which we raise our daughter.

She has used condescending and belittling language in her conversations with Nancy.

She has discussed details of our private lives with other people without our knowledge or approval.

She has refused to repair broken cabinets and holes in the ceiling, and generally failed to maintain the apartment in the manner specified by the lease.

In fine, and despite our abhorrence of the entire moving process, she has made it more palatable for us to move than to stay.

We, therefore, solemnly publish and declare that as of this date, we are free and independent of this lease. We leave to seek our fortunes elsewhere, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence.