A Party of Physicists

One day, a number of the world’s most famous physicists decided to get together for a party.  Fortunately, the doorman was a graduate student, and made some very interesting observations:

Everyone gravitated toward Newton, but he just kept moving around at constant velocity and showed no reaction.

Einstein thought it was a relatively good time.

Coulomb got a real charge out of the whole thing.

Cauchy, being the only mathematician there, still managed to integrate well with everyone.

Cavendish wasn’t actually invited, but had the balls to show up anyway.

Thomson enjoyed the plum pudding.

Pauli arrived late and was mostly excluded from things, so he split.

Pascal was under too much pressure to really enjoy himself.

Ohm spent most of the evening resisting Ampere’s opinions on current events.

Hamilton went to the buffet tables exactly once.

Volt thought the evening had a lot of potential.

Hilbert was pretty spaced out for most of it.

Heisenberg may or may not have been there.

The Curies were there and just glowed the whole time.

van der Waals forced himself to mingle.

Wein radiated a colorful personality.

Millikan dropped his oil and vinegar dressing.

de Broglie mostly just stood in the corner and waved.

Hollerith liked the hole idea.

Stefan and Boltzman got into a heated argument.

Everyone was attracted to Tesla’s magnetic personality.

Compton seemed a little scattered.

Bohr ate too much and got atomic ache.

Watt turned out to be a powerful speaker.

Hertz went back to the buffet table at regular intervals.

Faraday demonstrated an outstanding capacity for liquor.

Oppenheimer got bombed.