To Facebook, or Not to Facebook?

I've been on a self-imposed exile from Facebook for a couple of weeks. I'd had a frustrating experience with a student and posted a brief (and nonspecific) comment about it. Someone I know read it, took offense, and apparently decided to educate me on the matter. 

The individual in question apparently said that I was a very opinionated person who was always posting things without thinking. They condescended to explain to me how little I understood about the issue in question--because having been an educator for over a decade and having two kids of my own in public schools doesn't give me any insight into the issue, I guess. They apparently expressed frustration over how little compassion I had for students in difficult situations.

I keep saying 'apparently' because I never actually read the comment in question. The aforementioned individual apparently decided to react their comment (after several other people besides me had seen it) and decided just to block me instead.

Which is fine. Do what you gotta do. Heaven knows you're not the first.

So I decided at that time it was probably in my best interest to get away from Facebook for a while. And now, a couple of weeks later, I'm trying to decide if I really want to go back.

There are a lot of good things about Facebook. There are some special interest groups I'm a member of, and they frequently have posts that are enlightening, or at least entertaining. There's Dave's daily music game, which honestly I have missed. And Facebook is a good way to keep up with family and friends in faraway places.

Unfortunately, there are also a lot of idiots...er, silly people on Facebook. There are spammers and multi-level marketers and newfangled snake-oil salesmen. There are disciples of Maslow's Law, convinced that their one-size-fits-all personal pet project (the Keto diet, essential oils, daily Bible verses, etc.) can be the solution to all your problems. There's the Dunning-Kruger brigade, speaking/writing with profound passion and presumed authority about things they clearly don't understand even a little bit. There are people who think the world revolves around the Kardashians, or Harry and Meghan, or Sean Hannity, or whoever, and flood everyone's news feed with minutiae that in reality only they care about. 

And there are people who post and/or repeat things that are demonstrably false--vaccines cause autism, the Earth is flat, climate change is a hoax, that kind of thing. This has become ever more prevalent in a country it is now largely post-factual, where the truth of what is said is not as important as whether the person who said it has an (R) or a (D) beside their name.

But even worse than any of these are the idiots who have to prove that they're right--or that the other person is wrong. They can't just leave well enough alone. If somebody says something that is inaccurate, or misunderstood, or insulting to themselves or their tribe, they simply have to respond and let everybody know that they're right and that the other person is wrong.

And the very worst thing about this particular kind of idiot is that I appear to have become one of them.

I don't know where or when or how I became so reactionary. But I hate it. My kids are both huge fans of the movie Frozen, as am I. But in the last few years, I have found myself increasingly unable simply to let it go.

I once allowed myself to get into a protracted argument with a stranger on Facebook.* After quite a bit of back-and-forth, the other person flat-out said, "You're never going to change my mind on this." To which I responded, "I'm not saying any of this for your benefit. You're beyond help. I'm saying this for the benefit of the random reader who might stumble upon your post and mistakenly conclude that you have any idea what you're talking about." It wasn't received well, as you might imagine.

So this is my big conundrum. Can I go back to that environment, where I could potentially be facing, in the words of Motormouth Maybelle, "a whole lotta ugly comin' at [me] from a neverending parade of stupid"? And if I do, can I temper my responses so as not to make things worse? Or do I just not respond at all?

I can't do anything about what other people say.** What I can control is my own reactions. I need to work on restraint, and humility, and considering things from a different perspective. I sometimes fall into the trap of believing that my own way is the best way.*** And maybe it is. But I can't just assume that, I suppose. Actually, given my track record, it's probably a bad idea to assume that. I've been wrong a lot in my life.

I guess the real question is this: Is the fun I have on Facebook worth the aggravation I know I might face if I go back? Have I missed my Facebook experience more than I have not missed it? And am I in a position right now to make it more fun than aggravating?

I don't know the answer to that question right now. And maybe that's my answer. Maybe I need to give it another couple of weeks.

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* There is an old saying among my people: "Never Wrestle with a pig. You both get dirty, and the pig likes it." On the other hand, there's this: "When someone does a foolish thing, you should tell them it is a foolish thing. They may still continue to do it, but at least the truth is where it needs to be." As much as I recognize the validity of the second statement, the pragmatic part of me is beginning to gravitate more toward the first.

** Okay, technically that's not true, I can block them if they're being egregiously unpleasant. Heaven knows it wouldn't be the first time.

*** "Of course I think my way is the best way," I will say. "If I thought there was a better way, I'd do it that way instead."