Bible Humor

I got these in my e-mail a while back. Enjoy! -M

Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he got married?
A. Ruthless.

Q. Who was the greatest male financier in the Bible?
A. Noah. He was kept his stock afloat while the rest of the world was in liquidation.

Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.

Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land. Also, probably a Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord.

Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A. Samson. He brought the house down.

Q. Why did Adam say to his children that they no longer lived in Eden?
A. "Your mother ate us out of house and home."

Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.

Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
A. The area around Jordan. The banks were always overflowing.

Q. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?
A. David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.

Q. Which Bible character had no parents?
A. Joshua, son of Nun.

Q. Why didn't they play cards on the Ark ?
A. Because Noah was standing on the deck. (Groan...)

By the way, did you know it's a sin for a woman to make coffee? That's right, it's in the Bible. It clearly says in the New Testament, "HE brews".

Did you know that food fights are mentioned in the Bible? Check out Zechariah 5:1 - "Then I turned, and lifted up mine eyes, and looked, and behold a flying roll."

Q. Why was Goliath so surprised when David hit him with a sling stone?
A. Nothing like that had ever entered his mind before.