The Big Money
Okay, I admit freely that I'm not as good at dealing with stress as I could be. And I'm feeling pretty stressed out about finances right now. No, Christmas shopping has nothing to do with it. I took care of all that during the busy pre-election season. (Genesis 41:17-36 proved very useful in dealing with that situation.) Getting home for Christmas is also already taken care of. It's what's on the horizon immediately afterwards that has me worried.
First, there's my job, which actually is not that big a deal. It's an okay job. Although it's at a call center, I'm a supervisor, so I don't have to spend a lot of time on the phone. They're also very flexible with my school schedule, the primary issue that led to my having to leave my last job. It pays well enough, considering. Unfortunately, once the elections ended, our workload dropped. Whereas I was averaging about 50-60 hours per paycheck during the busy season, I'm averaging 30-35 now. And since it's part-time, of course I don't get paid for holidays (and trips to Colorado associated therewith). I still make enough to pay the rent and utilities, buy food, and so forth, but I'm not able to put anything into savings now. I got into that habit over the past couple of years, and it scares me a little not to be able to do so now.
The Dreadnought is also a problem. I've talked to some knowledgeable people about the behavior it has been exhibiting. If I'm fortunate, the problem can be solved by a routine transmission flush and service, which would run between $60 and $100. Not that big a deal. If that doesn't fix it, however, then the problem is likely to involve an expensive transmission overhaul. And that doesn't look like something I'm likely to be able to afford in the near future.
Those two issues are comparatively minor and easy to get around. The other two issues are a bit more complicated.
I learned today that the roommate who acts as the liaison between us and the owner has decided to go to Korea to teach English for a year or three. The other roommate is getting married in a week or so. That leaves me alone in the house, at least until other roommates can be recruited. That also leaves me in the position of being the middle man between the owner (who I've met only a handful of times) and any potential new roommates (who I have most likely never met at all). The utilities would all go into my name, which I've dealt with before and consider a big pain in the neck. Worse, the owner apparently has a deal with the existing middle man by which he charges this person less rent in exchange for dealing with the utilities and so forth. However, this only applies if the house is full. If not, the middle man makes up any lost rent himself. This would leave me paying three and a half times what I'm paying now to live in the same place, unless we miraculously get three new guys in here in the next 23 days. And I simply cannot afford that - even if I suddenly were to go back to working 60 hours a paycheck. The alternative is to try to find yet another place to live, and those of you who have been reading for a while know how much I relish the idea of moving again.
But the biggest issue is school. I got a letter from the financial aid department a couple of weeks ago telling me that I have taken too many credit hours and am consequently no longer eligible for federal financial aid, including student loans, retroactive to the beginning of this semester. There are grounds for appeal due to 'unusual circumstances', and I have submitted a letter requesting an exemption. As yet, no decision has been made. But if it doesn't go through, I'm screwed. Screwed, blued, and tattooed. I will owe about $2750 for the loan money I have already received - and spent! - for this semester, and I will be unable to resume classes until I pay it back and can pony up another semester's worth of tuition and fees. I'm so {obscene gerund} close to graduating, and now there's a very real possibility that I'm going to have to delay my education, again. Rubbish and similar sentiments.
I really don't know what I'm going to do about any of this. If the school thing falls through, it will likely end up taking the job with it, and I'll go back to working full-time at a job that's not really what I want to do with my life. Yeah, I know that's the common lot of mankind, and I suppose it's foolish to think I'd be spared from it. But I've already done it for so long, so many times. I'm ready to have a career that I really want, and not just another job. Or, as it turns out, maybe I'm not. Curse it all anyway.
I know that life is supposed to be a challenge. Tests of faith and willpower abound, and we are ultimately measured by how we respond to those tests. And I have always managed to come out of such challenges before, if not unscathed, then at least unbroken. And I know, ultimately, that this challenge is no different. I'll get through it; I'll do what I need to do. It's just that right now, I don't see how that's going to happen.
And for me, that's the biggest challenge.
First, there's my job, which actually is not that big a deal. It's an okay job. Although it's at a call center, I'm a supervisor, so I don't have to spend a lot of time on the phone. They're also very flexible with my school schedule, the primary issue that led to my having to leave my last job. It pays well enough, considering. Unfortunately, once the elections ended, our workload dropped. Whereas I was averaging about 50-60 hours per paycheck during the busy season, I'm averaging 30-35 now. And since it's part-time, of course I don't get paid for holidays (and trips to Colorado associated therewith). I still make enough to pay the rent and utilities, buy food, and so forth, but I'm not able to put anything into savings now. I got into that habit over the past couple of years, and it scares me a little not to be able to do so now.
The Dreadnought is also a problem. I've talked to some knowledgeable people about the behavior it has been exhibiting. If I'm fortunate, the problem can be solved by a routine transmission flush and service, which would run between $60 and $100. Not that big a deal. If that doesn't fix it, however, then the problem is likely to involve an expensive transmission overhaul. And that doesn't look like something I'm likely to be able to afford in the near future.
Those two issues are comparatively minor and easy to get around. The other two issues are a bit more complicated.
I learned today that the roommate who acts as the liaison between us and the owner has decided to go to Korea to teach English for a year or three. The other roommate is getting married in a week or so. That leaves me alone in the house, at least until other roommates can be recruited. That also leaves me in the position of being the middle man between the owner (who I've met only a handful of times) and any potential new roommates (who I have most likely never met at all). The utilities would all go into my name, which I've dealt with before and consider a big pain in the neck. Worse, the owner apparently has a deal with the existing middle man by which he charges this person less rent in exchange for dealing with the utilities and so forth. However, this only applies if the house is full. If not, the middle man makes up any lost rent himself. This would leave me paying three and a half times what I'm paying now to live in the same place, unless we miraculously get three new guys in here in the next 23 days. And I simply cannot afford that - even if I suddenly were to go back to working 60 hours a paycheck. The alternative is to try to find yet another place to live, and those of you who have been reading for a while know how much I relish the idea of moving again.
But the biggest issue is school. I got a letter from the financial aid department a couple of weeks ago telling me that I have taken too many credit hours and am consequently no longer eligible for federal financial aid, including student loans, retroactive to the beginning of this semester. There are grounds for appeal due to 'unusual circumstances', and I have submitted a letter requesting an exemption. As yet, no decision has been made. But if it doesn't go through, I'm screwed. Screwed, blued, and tattooed. I will owe about $2750 for the loan money I have already received - and spent! - for this semester, and I will be unable to resume classes until I pay it back and can pony up another semester's worth of tuition and fees. I'm so {obscene gerund} close to graduating, and now there's a very real possibility that I'm going to have to delay my education, again. Rubbish and similar sentiments.
I really don't know what I'm going to do about any of this. If the school thing falls through, it will likely end up taking the job with it, and I'll go back to working full-time at a job that's not really what I want to do with my life. Yeah, I know that's the common lot of mankind, and I suppose it's foolish to think I'd be spared from it. But I've already done it for so long, so many times. I'm ready to have a career that I really want, and not just another job. Or, as it turns out, maybe I'm not. Curse it all anyway.
I know that life is supposed to be a challenge. Tests of faith and willpower abound, and we are ultimately measured by how we respond to those tests. And I have always managed to come out of such challenges before, if not unscathed, then at least unbroken. And I know, ultimately, that this challenge is no different. I'll get through it; I'll do what I need to do. It's just that right now, I don't see how that's going to happen.
And for me, that's the biggest challenge.
posted by Michael at
6:00 PM
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