Blessed Are

When Nancy started working from home a couple of months ago, her schedule was such that on Sundays her lunch break coincided with the beginning of our church services. She could come over to the church, take the Sacrament, and return home by the time her lunch break was over. She hates working on Sundays—as do I; I've been fortunate not to have to do so for a long time—but this was a good way for her to get a bit of a spiritual recharge, even when she had to work.

Nancy started a new work schedule today, and her lunch break time has changed. So coming over to church to take the Sacrament is no longer possible. However, her new schedule starts an hour later than her old one did, which means she can go to another ward's services and catch most of Sacrament meeting before she has to start work. So she went to the early ward this morning, and I went with her.

In this morning's service, the two speakers we heard both gave talks based on the Beatitudes. The first, a young woman of twelve or thirteen, based her talk on Matthew 5:7 - "Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy." In looking up the definitions, she found that 'Blessed' means happy, divinely gifted, or fortunate, and 'Merciful' means compassionate, having empathy for the suffering of others.

Even the most fortunate of us—and I hasten to mention that on a global scale, anyone who has access to a computer and the ability to read is pretty fortunate—will suffer sometimes. We hurt, we long, we lament, we grieve. Who among us doesn't seek solace from time to time in an otherwise happy life? We all do.

When we need this comfort, where does it come from? Spencer W. Kimball said this:

"God does notice us, and He watches over us. But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs."

That's how this Beatitude works. We comfort those in need around us, and we receive comfort from them in turn. We develop a merciful personality, and in so doing inspire those around us to be merciful as well. Seneca put it this way: "He that does good to another does good also to himself."

The second speaker, a young wife and university student, based her remarks on Matthew 5:9 - "Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God." She defined a peacemaker as someone who tries not only to resolve conflicts, but to create an environment that is free from contention.

Now, I understand that it's pretty much impossible to eliminate conflict entirely. We all have differing opinions, attitudes, beliefs, and priorities, and these are often in direct competition with those of the people around us. So there's always going to be some conflict. I understand that. But a lot of the time, I feel like there's a lot more conflict in this world than there needs to be.

There's a lot of arguing going on these days. Some people argue because they're passionate about their beliefs and opinions. Some argue to get a point across. And some argue because they like it. They like to prove their intellectual or moral superiority. They like to sound like they know more than everyone else does. They like to humiliate, embarrass, or belittle other people. They like to feel big by making others feel small.

Some of the best advice I've ever received came from my friend Wendy Kay: "I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to."

Now, being a peacemaker doesn't mean that we don't stand up for what we believe in. And it doesn't mean that we let other people walk all over us. It means that we don't go looking for a fight if we don't have to. It means that we back up what we believe without feeling the need to tear down what someone else believes. It means that we consider that the other person may indeed have a valid point, even if we don't agree with it personally. And it means that we keep our emotions in check, our words civil, and our tone respectful. It means that we choose to disagree without being disagreeable.

The key word in that last sentence is "choose". In his address And Nothing Shall Offend Them, David A. Bednar makes this point:

When we believe or say we have been offended, we usually mean we feel insulted, mistreated, snubbed, or disrespected. And certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean-spirited things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us to take offense. However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to offend you or to offend me. Indeed, believing that another person offended us is fundamentally false. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else.

Many people, when confronted with an opposing or argumentative opinion, immediately take offense. It never seems to occur to them that they have any other choice.

Intelligent debate, of course, is not the same as arguing. Debate is about making a point; argument is about being right. Debate, even in an attempt to persuade, does not have to be confrontational. And we can make a point without making an enemy.

When I was growing up, my Dad had four rules about fighting:
1. You don't fight.
2. You don't fight.
3. You don't fight.
4. When you do fight, you win.

In other words, when something really is worth fighting for, you fight with everything you've got. But how many things are really that important?

When we think of being a peacemaker, we usually think of trying to stop a fight and reconciling the people who were fighting. But perhaps the more important part of being a peacemaker is trying to avoid unnecessary conflict in the first place.

In either case, I think I still have a way to go.

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Quotes taken from the Book of Famous Quotes website.