About the Chopsticks

This is in regard to Question #32 in the previous post. -M
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I am quite proficient in the use of chopsticks. While I initially learned to use them as a child (there was a Chinese restaurant in Greeley my family attended from time to time), I really became an expert on my mission. That's not all that unusual; lots of Latter-day Saints learn to use chopsticks on their missions. Only my mission wasn't in Taiwan, or Korea, or Japan, or anywhere like that. It was in West Virginia.

How does one learn to use chopsticks in West Virginia? Glad you asked.

It's been almost twenty years since I was there, so my memory's a little fuzzy on some of the details, but I think it happened when I was in Morgantown. On our P-day ("Preparation Day", the one day each week when we do mundane things like laundry and grocery shopping), all the missionaries in the area met at a local laundromat. This particular laundromat was the lower floor of a building; the upper floor was a Chinese restaurant. After getting our clothes clean for the coming week, the six of us—four Elders and two Sisters—would go upstairs for lunch.

It was my first week in Morgantown, so everything here was new to me. During our laundry time, the other missionaries kept talking about how good the food upstairs was. So I was pretty excited to go up for lunch. We all ordered, and a few minutes later the waitress returned with our meals, along with silverware for everyone.

Except me. She brought me chopsticks.

I asked if I could get some silverware, and she said no and left. The other five people at my table were all grinning and/or laughing. At me. Finally, the District Leader explained it to me. The missionaries had been coming to this restaurant every P-day for a long time, and an understanding had developed between them and the family who owned the restaurant. Whenever a new missionary showed up, the restaurant staff knew not to bring him (or her) silverware, just chopsticks. It was like an initiation, a rite of passage.

I was the new guy, so I got chopsticks.

Now, if you didn't know how to use chopsticks, you had basically three options. First, you could eat with your fingers. Effective, but not very dignified. Second, you could try to elicit sympathy from one of the other missionaries at the table and see if they'd let you use some of their silverware. Slightly more dignified—but not terribly likely. Third, you learned to use chopsticks, as quickly as possible.

I chose to use the chopsticks. And I continued to use them, even after I was no longer the 'new guy'. I actually asked for them. And after a while, I didn't have to ask any more.

I've been proficient with chopsticks ever since.