Save the Pumpkins!
This is one of my favorite bits of Halloween humor, inspired by you-know-who. The author is unknown. For more Halloween funnies, follow this link to my Funnies page. -M
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We at PETP (People for Ethical Treatment of Pumpkins) wish to express our outrage at the inhumane and cruel treatment of our little orange friends at the hand of unethical and barbaric pumpkin hunters!
Once again, with pumpkin season upon us, thousands of so called "humans" will take to the fields in a cruel and evil frenzy to capture and kill one of God's most harmless and beautiful creatures, the pumpkin.
Why must we allow this carnage to continue? Men no longer need to hunt the pumpkin to place food on their tables and feed their families. Must we allow the killing of millions of helpless pumpkins just to fill some caveman need for "sport"?
Oh yes, some hunters do used the poor little lifeless bodies of the pumpkins they ruthlessly kill to make pumpkin pies and pumpkin cookies and pumpkin bread, but such foods can be made from domesticated produce without having to track down and kill our poor wild pumpkins!
But, the vast majority of pumpkin hunters are trophy hunters, who stalk, track down, and kill poor little pumpkins just for a trophy for their porch or a window!
This sickness is only made worse in the way these hunters allow, yes, even encourage, their children (CHILDREN!) to cut, gouge, gash, and carve with knives the sad little gutted dead bodies of their prey. In this way, they both encourage a new generation to take up this hideous "sport" and teach poor little children to disrespect and treat in cruel way our fellow creatures on this planet.
Worse, many schools now take their children on field trips to the habitat of the wild pumpkins. They turn them loose to chase down the little orange creatures and rip them from their families. Furthermore, they carry them back to school where the awful and hideous mutilation of their poor trembling bodies is encouraged by their teachers!
This must stop! Our scientists have known that, like humans, pumpkins mate for life and form loving and caring family units. We at PETP urge you to write your Representative and demand a stop to be put to this yearly slaughter of helpless pumpkins. We urge you to protest at stores which sell both captured pumpkins or the traps, knives, and guns used by those who hunt them. But most of all, we urge you, if you have trapped a pumpkin and he or she is still alive, PLEASE return him or her to wild so he or she may once be reunited with his or her family, to live out their lives as Mother Nature intended, free in the wild!
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We at PETP (People for Ethical Treatment of Pumpkins) wish to express our outrage at the inhumane and cruel treatment of our little orange friends at the hand of unethical and barbaric pumpkin hunters!
Once again, with pumpkin season upon us, thousands of so called "humans" will take to the fields in a cruel and evil frenzy to capture and kill one of God's most harmless and beautiful creatures, the pumpkin.
Why must we allow this carnage to continue? Men no longer need to hunt the pumpkin to place food on their tables and feed their families. Must we allow the killing of millions of helpless pumpkins just to fill some caveman need for "sport"?
Oh yes, some hunters do used the poor little lifeless bodies of the pumpkins they ruthlessly kill to make pumpkin pies and pumpkin cookies and pumpkin bread, but such foods can be made from domesticated produce without having to track down and kill our poor wild pumpkins!
But, the vast majority of pumpkin hunters are trophy hunters, who stalk, track down, and kill poor little pumpkins just for a trophy for their porch or a window!
This sickness is only made worse in the way these hunters allow, yes, even encourage, their children (CHILDREN!) to cut, gouge, gash, and carve with knives the sad little gutted dead bodies of their prey. In this way, they both encourage a new generation to take up this hideous "sport" and teach poor little children to disrespect and treat in cruel way our fellow creatures on this planet.
Worse, many schools now take their children on field trips to the habitat of the wild pumpkins. They turn them loose to chase down the little orange creatures and rip them from their families. Furthermore, they carry them back to school where the awful and hideous mutilation of their poor trembling bodies is encouraged by their teachers!
This must stop! Our scientists have known that, like humans, pumpkins mate for life and form loving and caring family units. We at PETP urge you to write your Representative and demand a stop to be put to this yearly slaughter of helpless pumpkins. We urge you to protest at stores which sell both captured pumpkins or the traps, knives, and guns used by those who hunt them. But most of all, we urge you, if you have trapped a pumpkin and he or she is still alive, PLEASE return him or her to wild so he or she may once be reunited with his or her family, to live out their lives as Mother Nature intended, free in the wild!
posted by Michael at
9:23 PM
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