CH3CH2OH
I found out yesterday that a guy I went to school with died Saturday night. He was two years younger than I was, and while I wasn't all that close to him personally, my family and his family were very, very close. My youngest brother and his youngest brother are best friends to this day.
What appears to have happened is that he checked into a hotel in Greeley, Colorado early Saturday evening. Not very long afterwards, the police were called to his room after he'd reportedly threatened to kill himself with a knife. He charged the police with the knife drawn and was told to drop it. When he failed to comply, the officers fired.
I don't know what led him to this course of action and ultimately to this untimely end. In talking to my family last night, Mom told me he'd been in and out of alcohol treatment programs for the past several years. She said that on one occasion he was released from rehab and got another DUI that same night. He was facing a lot of jail time, she said, and maybe he just wanted out. I don't know. I don't think I ever will. I don't think anyone will ever know. But whatever the situation, it looks like alcohol was a factor.
If that's really what happened, then this is the second person I knew personally in high school that has died an alcohol-related death. The first was someone I was in concert band and jazz band with. Somewhere amongst my memorabilia, I have a picture showing him, myself, and Dilliwag on the front page of the Greeley paper. He died while I was on my mission. As I understand it, he was on his way home from Greeley one night after he'd had too much to drink. In his impaired state, he missed a turn on a road he'd driven literally hundreds of times. He was going about 70 miles an hour, and he died instantly.
The guy who died Saturday night left behind both his parents, a brother, and a sister. He also left behind a wife and three children under 12. Mom and Dad said they'd talked to his parents and they were having a really hard time. When I asked how they were doing, my Dad said, "How would you be?" Mom said that his wife is feeling like it was her fault. Survivor's guilt? I can't imagine what life is going to be like for her. I can't imagine being a widow in your mid-30's.
Psychiatrist Dr. Murray Banks once said, "Some people turn to liquor to drown their troubles. Now, liquor will never drown your troubles. It'll only irrigate them a little." This was in the late 1940's. It's still true today—perhaps even more now than then.
It scares me to think that had I not found the LDS Church at the age of 14, either one of these guys could have been me. It could have been my family mourning its loss—my loss.
I don't have any kids, but when I do, I want them to read this. And here's what I want them to get out of it: Alcohol destroys lives. And not just the lives of those who die; those are the lucky ones. Alcohol destroys the lives of those left behind. It destroys the lives of parents, children, siblings, and friends who have to bury loved ones and then try to move on. Alcohol destroys families.
I think the Church is spot-on with this one. The only safe amount to drink is none.
What appears to have happened is that he checked into a hotel in Greeley, Colorado early Saturday evening. Not very long afterwards, the police were called to his room after he'd reportedly threatened to kill himself with a knife. He charged the police with the knife drawn and was told to drop it. When he failed to comply, the officers fired.
I don't know what led him to this course of action and ultimately to this untimely end. In talking to my family last night, Mom told me he'd been in and out of alcohol treatment programs for the past several years. She said that on one occasion he was released from rehab and got another DUI that same night. He was facing a lot of jail time, she said, and maybe he just wanted out. I don't know. I don't think I ever will. I don't think anyone will ever know. But whatever the situation, it looks like alcohol was a factor.
If that's really what happened, then this is the second person I knew personally in high school that has died an alcohol-related death. The first was someone I was in concert band and jazz band with. Somewhere amongst my memorabilia, I have a picture showing him, myself, and Dilliwag on the front page of the Greeley paper. He died while I was on my mission. As I understand it, he was on his way home from Greeley one night after he'd had too much to drink. In his impaired state, he missed a turn on a road he'd driven literally hundreds of times. He was going about 70 miles an hour, and he died instantly.
The guy who died Saturday night left behind both his parents, a brother, and a sister. He also left behind a wife and three children under 12. Mom and Dad said they'd talked to his parents and they were having a really hard time. When I asked how they were doing, my Dad said, "How would you be?" Mom said that his wife is feeling like it was her fault. Survivor's guilt? I can't imagine what life is going to be like for her. I can't imagine being a widow in your mid-30's.
Psychiatrist Dr. Murray Banks once said, "Some people turn to liquor to drown their troubles. Now, liquor will never drown your troubles. It'll only irrigate them a little." This was in the late 1940's. It's still true today—perhaps even more now than then.
It scares me to think that had I not found the LDS Church at the age of 14, either one of these guys could have been me. It could have been my family mourning its loss—my loss.
I don't have any kids, but when I do, I want them to read this. And here's what I want them to get out of it: Alcohol destroys lives. And not just the lives of those who die; those are the lucky ones. Alcohol destroys the lives of those left behind. It destroys the lives of parents, children, siblings, and friends who have to bury loved ones and then try to move on. Alcohol destroys families.
I think the Church is spot-on with this one. The only safe amount to drink is none.
posted by Michael at
4:46 PM
4 Comments:
My feelings go out to you.
And I agree completely - my father was an alcoholic, and died of alcohol related causes. Growing up in that house was absolute hell. For me, my mother, her relatives...
It took over a decade for the major scars of that to be mostly erased both from myself and my mother. And I really don't think she completely got over it.
Bad Bad stuff.
By
Lord Mhoram, At
February 19, 2007 5:24 PM
Hmmmm . . . I can't remember who your brother hangs with. Andy?
By
dilliwag, At
February 19, 2007 6:27 PM
Nevermind. Just found the story on the Trib website. I used to drink with Brian now and again. Another eleven years of drinking would have put me at his age. Who knows where I would have been at that point. Man, that could have easily been me.
By
dilliwag, At
February 19, 2007 6:41 PM
I pass my grieves your way for what you are feeling. I am glad I did get all of my drinking down under my belt when I did, even after memory loss due to a brain injury, I still remember a lot of those times when I got drunk, after my first experience with beer I would drink so much that I was usually passed out by the 1st hour mark into the party, I wasn't always drinking but when a party was mentioned I was bringing a fifth of vodka. Now I can't say those were really bad times or good times they did give me experience at what it is really is, a form of escapism, I personally can think of other avenues of escapism that would work out better for all partys involved life the parents or wives saying that he became a buddhist monk instead of dying in an alchohol related car accident. I was recently afflicted when a friend of my brother killed himself.
So my Heart goes out to all that mourns the loss of a friend or family member
By
Unknown, At
February 19, 2007 10:24 PM
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