What I Wish I Had Said
During one of my classes today, one of my back-row students came up to me with his report card and said, "Mr. M, I think there's been a mistake." Knowing what was coming, I asked him what the problem was. He showed me his report card, on which he had a grade of A- (92.68%) for my Honors Chemistry class. He was, of course, wondering why he hadn't got an A, and asked if I'd be willing round up and change his grade for the previous quarter.
Naturally I told him no.
He then asked me about extra credit, if there was something he could do to bring that grade up. I reminded him that I'd given the class an extra credit assignment about two weeks before the end of the quarter. (Which was true, by the way, and which about 90% of the students had turned in.) I asked if he had done it.‡ He said no, he hadn't thought he would need it at the time. I told him, more or less, that he'd missed his chance and that the A- would stay. He returned to his seat and I got back to the class activity.
After the bell rang, once again I saw this student coming up to plead for his A. He told me he had wanted to do the extra credit assignment, but that he'd been really busy right then and blah blah blah blah blah. I told him, again, that I'd given him the same chance that I'd given everyone else, and that I wasn't going to make a special exception just for him. Finally he just asked, "So you're not going to change my grade?", and I said, "No, I'm not." He left the room, head down, with this parting shot: "Aw, Mr. M, I thought we were pals."
This is what I wish I would have said to him:
"I think maybe that's part of the problem. Don't get me wrong, I hope that you do enjoy my class, but ultimately, that's not what I'm here for. I'm not here to be your pal. I'm not here to entertain you or to befriend you. I'm here to teach you, and not just about science. I'm here to make sure you learn. And you've learned something today: you've learned that life doesn't give you do-overs the way video games and middle school classes do. When you have an opportunity, you have to take it. If you don't, there are consequences. And that, as it turns out, is a science lesson. It's called Newton's Third Law. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction—or in this case, a consequence. That's how it works."
I would love to have said something like this to him.
It's probably just as well that I didn't.
--
‡ Admittedly, this was kind of a loaded question. Had he said yes, I would have said, "Well, then you probably have an A- instead of a B+. I've already raised your grade." It was a no-win scenario. For him.
Naturally I told him no.
He then asked me about extra credit, if there was something he could do to bring that grade up. I reminded him that I'd given the class an extra credit assignment about two weeks before the end of the quarter. (Which was true, by the way, and which about 90% of the students had turned in.) I asked if he had done it.‡ He said no, he hadn't thought he would need it at the time. I told him, more or less, that he'd missed his chance and that the A- would stay. He returned to his seat and I got back to the class activity.
After the bell rang, once again I saw this student coming up to plead for his A. He told me he had wanted to do the extra credit assignment, but that he'd been really busy right then and blah blah blah blah blah. I told him, again, that I'd given him the same chance that I'd given everyone else, and that I wasn't going to make a special exception just for him. Finally he just asked, "So you're not going to change my grade?", and I said, "No, I'm not." He left the room, head down, with this parting shot: "Aw, Mr. M, I thought we were pals."
This is what I wish I would have said to him:
"I think maybe that's part of the problem. Don't get me wrong, I hope that you do enjoy my class, but ultimately, that's not what I'm here for. I'm not here to be your pal. I'm not here to entertain you or to befriend you. I'm here to teach you, and not just about science. I'm here to make sure you learn. And you've learned something today: you've learned that life doesn't give you do-overs the way video games and middle school classes do. When you have an opportunity, you have to take it. If you don't, there are consequences. And that, as it turns out, is a science lesson. It's called Newton's Third Law. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction—or in this case, a consequence. That's how it works."
I would love to have said something like this to him.
It's probably just as well that I didn't.
--
‡ Admittedly, this was kind of a loaded question. Had he said yes, I would have said, "Well, then you probably have an A- instead of a B+. I've already raised your grade." It was a no-win scenario. For him.
posted by Michael at
10:22 PM
1 Comments:
I'm glad you stuck to your guns. I was surprised that you gave your classes extra credit at all. He should have done it when he had the chance! Bless his heart! I think you should put the response you wish you had said on a poster board and hang it on your wall for the kids to see. Especially the part about Newton's Third Law.
My question is why is he just coming to you now? Hasn't the quarter been over for a couple of weeks? Hmm. Not that it would have made a difference but you'd think if he was so concerned with his grade that he would have asked you about it before now!
By
Nancy, At
November 13, 2009 12:29 AM
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