Today's E-Mail Treasure

 I got this e-mail from the parent of one of my new students today:

Hi Sir, 

Help me understand what transpired today that you refused to allow my student {name redacted} into your classroom. 

My response:

He arrived late to class, so the door was shut while we completed the starter activity. There was a sign on the door that asked him to wait 5 to 7 minutes to be admitted once the starter was complete. When I opened the door, he was gone.

I feel like this should resolve the issue.

I also feel about 67% confident that I have not heard the last from this parent on the issue.

But I've been wrong before. I could get lucky.

But next week is Parent Teacher Conferences, so....

The Dog and the Scorpion

 Once upon a time a dog was walking along the bank of a river, looking for a good place to swim across. As he entered the water, he heard a voice nearby. "Hey, can I ride on your back across the river? I need to get over there too."

The dog looked around until he found the source of the voice. It was a scorpion.

"Absolutely not," the dog replied. "If I let you onto my back, you'll sting me along the way and I'll drown."

"No I won't," the scorpion retorted. "Why would I do that? I would drown, too. That wouldn't make sense. Here, just help me across. Everything will be fine."

They talked for a few moments and eventually, against his better judgment, the dog was persuaded to allow the scorpion to climb into his back. They entered the river and quickly made their way across.

Then, just as the dog started to climb out of the water, the scorpion stung him.

Feeling the venom spread.through his body, the dog could only watch as the scorpion easily jumped to shore. "Why?" the dog cried. "Why would you do this? I helped you!"

The scorpion just shrugged. "You knew what I was when you let me climb on your back." And the dog sank beneath the water while the scorpion went on with his day.

It's Just A Joke

 A man in Moscow walks up to a newsstand one morning and says, "One copy of Pravda, please." The stand keeper takes his money and gives him the paper. The man then scrutinizes the front page and then throws the paper away.

The man comes back to the newsstand again the next morning and again buys a copy of Pravda. Again he reads only the front page and throws the newspaper away. He does the same for eight more days.

On the eleventh morning when he buys his paper, the stand keeper's curiosity get the best of him. He asks him, "What are you doing? Why do you read only the front page and then throw the newspaper away?"

The man replies, "I am looking for the obituaries."

The stand keeper tells him, "Comrade, the obituaries are not on the front page."

The man just smiles. "The one I'm looking for will be "

Woke

WARNING: RANT MODE ON

I am sick nigh unto death of how often I've heard the word "Woke" these last several days. Mother of Hades, every right-leaning commentator, celebrity, and would-be social media influencer has been throwing the word around indiscriminately, like medieval peasants sowing grain  It's become what I call an Inigo Montoya word: I don't think it means what you think it means. And I'm just done. 

Now, let me be clear: I'm no expert in the ways of politics. As I'm fond of telling my students, "I'm not a political scientist. I'm an ACTUAL scientist." And part of what that means is that I'm interested in facts, and that I care about objective reality. 

But facts are hard. Reality is what it is, not what we might want it to be or what that AM radio talk show host might tell us it is. Facts are facts, and facts matter.

So when charlatans and shysters try to sidestep facts and deflect reality by calling someone or something "woke", it gets on my nerves.

So, what does the word "woke" really mean? I've come to a couple of conclusions. One or more of these might be right, or they may all be wrong together. As I said, I'm no expert.

1. "Woke" doesn't mean anything. It's just a trigger word meant to rile up the base. Call something or someone "woke", and the MAGA faithful won't be able to line up behind you fast enough. 

1a. "Woke" doesn't mean anything. It's a word crafted to frighten children and imbeciles and inflame demagogues. And it works really, really well.

2. "Woke" means "Something the speaker/writer doesn't like", or perhaps more appropriately, "Something the talking head on Fox News told the speaker/writer they shouldn't like". 

3. "Woke" describes some idea or practice that threatens the power, position, and/or masculinity of straight white evangelical Christian males and the social and historical constructs that support them.

4. "Woke" means something that only a socialist, Commie, Marxist, or libtard Democrat would support, and that every red-blooded God-fearing patriotic American should abhor unquestioningly. 

Whichever or whether any of these are true, this much I have learned from observation: Use of the word "Woke" pretty much always reveals more about the person using it than about who or what they're trying to describe. 

So as far as I'm concerned, if one insists on using the word "Woke", they've said less than nothing at all. 

And let me be bluntly honest: Whenever I hear someone using the word "Woke", especially in the context of some politically-charged commentary, I'm probably going to stop analyzing what they're saying and skip directly to the part when I'm convinced that they have no idea what they're talking about. 

Maybe that's wrong. But if that's the case, that's fine. I don't want to be right. 

/END RANT MODE

Love People? Really?

 And the Lord said to me, "I really need you to love people."

And I said, "Ughh. People are so annoying."

And the Lord said, "They are my children."

And I said, "That doesn't make them lovable. They're still annoying."

And the Lord said, "You are my child, and I love you—today, tomorrow, and always."

And I said, "Yeah, but I'm not annoying. I'm a delight."

And the Lord raised an eyebrow at me.

And I said, "Yeah, okay, that's fair. I'll work on it." 

EOY 2023-24

Thus the 2023-24 school year comes to a close.

This has probably been the most challenging year of my teaching career. I took on two new subjects this year and dealt with a completely different student population. It's been exhausting.

It all started last spring when registration numbers came in. We had lots and lots of kids sign up for biology and Earth science. (Chemistry and physics enrollments have dropped precipitously since the Regents Scholarship, which required both, went away.) We lost two biology teachers to other schools last spring, so we hired two new ones to replace them. Even so, the two new biology teachers plus the one who was still here was not enough to cover all of the sections required. So our earth science teacher switched over to biology. 

So that took care of biology, but we still had eight sections of Earth science to fill. We hired someone from another school teach four of the sections, plus a couple of ELL sections. I know, strange combination of assignments. I had the content knowledge to teach Earth science, but I didn't have the endorsement. So to get the endorsement, I took a science methods course at the beginning of the summer last year. And two Praxis exams. Which means this school year really started for me last June. 

So I ended up taking on the other four sections of earth science—my first experience teaching freshman. It was all that I had anticipated, and less. I taught primarily sophomores for the first 8 or 9 years of my career, and they brought plenty of Middle School crap to the table. But it was nothing like these guys. In fairness, there were a few really good students. But there were a whole lot more that brought previously unforeseen levels of apathy, entitlement, and general dysfunction to the table. I don't know how my Mom did it for almost 30 years. 

This was also my first year teaching concurrent enrollment astronomy. I'd been to the training, and I had talked to the liaison at SLCC. They already had a syllabus in place, with the schedule for lessons and exams and chapter assignments and all of that jazz. All I needed to do was direct my students to the SLCC Canvas site. But then the shoe dropped. All the assignments on SLCC's Canvas, including the quizzes and exams, we're administered through a third-party software package that students have to pay extra for. So SLCC told me not to have our students use it. Now, all of a sudden, I'm having to come up with all of the assignments. Oh, and the new gradebook software we use wasn't set up to emulate their grading categories, standards, and requirements. On the other hand, these students were, for the most part, unusually dedicated and conscientious about learning the material and getting stuff done. That was enormously refreshing.

So by second semester, five of the seven class periods I was teaching were subjects I had never taught before. I'd anticipated that there was going to be a learning curve. I did not anticipate that it was going to feel like Mount Everest. 

But I made it through. Today was graduation, and a lot of kids that I've got to known over the past few years became grown-ups today. There is much to be said for the satisfaction of seeing someone that you have taught move on to the next level. 

Before graduation we had our end of year teacher celebration at school. We said goodbye to about 10 different teachers today, some retiring, some moving on to other positions, and one taking a job as a college professor on the East Coast. Three of the people who retired today are people that I have leaned on heavily since my first day of teaching fifteen years ago. Veterans, friends, mentors. It's going to be hard not seeing them from now on. 

One of the other people we're losing is one of our chemistry teachers, who's taking a position as the district science curriculum specialist. It's kind of funny. When we moved into the new building in 2013, I was in one of the two chemistry classrooms. When the honors physics teacher retired 6 years ago, I had just earned an endorsement to teach physics. I was offered his position as well as his room, so I moved. Since then, no teacher has stayed in my old room for more than two years. Now this latest teacher is gone after one academic year. My room is like our version of Defense Against the Dark Arts. 

So all in all, it's been a crazy end to a crazy year. You hear athletes after a big game talk about leaving everything on the field. Well, that's how I feel right now. I've left it all in the classroom this year. I am physically, mentally, emotionally, and intellectually exhausted. I want nothing more right now than to crawl into bed and stay there for 3 or 4 days. It's not realistic, of course, because I have kids. Still, it's nice to think about.

But hey, only 10½ weeks until next school year starts!

Latter-Day Ain'ts

A couple of weeks ago, someone I follow on social media told of how she'd once been in a rap battle with a Mormon missionary and dropped a line something like "More like Latter-day Ain'ts". It wasn't mean-spirited or anything like that. It was meant to be a funny slice of life moment, and most people took it as such.

Like most of her posts, this one generated a wide spectrum of comments. Most were harmless and even amusing. Some of them were uncomplimentary towards the LDS community; a few even questioned what a self-professed Christian was doing associating with Mormon missionaries in the first place.

You know, same old same old.

The phrase "Latter-day Ain'ts" got me thinking. I can't speak for anyone else, but here are some of my personal "Latter-day Ain'ts".

——

Ain't claiming to be perfect. I do the best I know how, and with the inspiration of Heaven, I try to be a better person today than I was yesterday.

Ain't telling you that my church is better than yours. But we do have a perspective that you may not have considered.

Ain't trying to be like other Christians, because that's not the point. The point is to be more like Christ, to the extent that I can learn and do what that involves.

Ain't here to judge you. That's not my job. I'm here to love you and to help you when you need help, because that's what the One I'm pledged to follow would do.

Ain't a blind follower. My beliefs and my convictions are my own, hard-won through study, meditation, prayer, and a lot of personal experience. I'm not a novice, and my faith is not fragile.

Ain't just checking boxes. I don't avoid alcohol, drugs, tobacco, casual sex, gambling, and the rest just because my church tells me to. I do it because experience—mine and others'—tells me those things don't make my life happier and don't make me a better person.

Ain't interested in anti-Mormon rhetoric. I was a missionary in the Bible Belt. You really think you know something I haven't heard and debunked a dozen times over? You don't. Don't waste my time, or yours.

Ain't expecting freedom from trials and tribulations. The idea that following Christ leads to an easy life is baffling to me. It certainly wasn't easy for Him. It's the hard times that make us stronger, not the easy ones. Learning to overcome hard times is the whole reason we're here.

Ain't complacent. I don't believe that God sent me here to be who I am, but to grow into who He knows I can become. Exaltation is a process, not an event.

Ain't going to try to justify myself to anyone. People may not agree with my opinions, my positions, or the way I live my life, and that's fine. I'm not accountable to them.

And finally, Ain't concerned about the fires of Hell, because like Nephi of old, I know in Whom I have trusted.

I think that pretty well covers it.