Dumbsmack of the Day

I train a new group of recruits each week at work. Each class has between three and ten newbies, of which 90% or more are hired each time. The reason we have training so often is that we have a lot of turnover. On average, we lose half of each training class within six weeks of their hire date—primarily due to violations of our attendance policy, but occasionally for other reasons like school conflicts or other jobs.

But today's employee departure was truly unique. It was a girl I hired last week who hadn't actually worked yet. She was scheduled to come in tonight for our 6:00 pm shift, but she never showed up. When we called her, she said she needed to quit.

Her explanation: She couldn't keep the job because she'd lose her welfare.

Whatever. If that's the way things work in your mind, then I'm sorry. You're too stupid to work here.