I Am a Patriotic American™

 Just so that there’s no misunderstanding, I want everyone to know that I’m a Patriotic American™. I love America. I believe in my country, right or wrong. I think America is the greatest country in the history of the world, and people who don’t like it should go back to wherever they came from. This country was founded by great men almost 250 years ago. I don't understand why everyone wants to change it now. It's like they want to erase our history.

I don’t really trust the Government, though. I think they’re out of touch. I think they sit around and make up a bunch of new laws just to have something to do. There are too many regulations, too many taxes, and too many government employees sitting around on their butts getting paid to do nothing. The Government should keep their noses out of my business. If I’m not hurting anyone, why should the Government care what I’m doing?

I don’t like the President, and I really don’t trust him. I think the previous President was a billion times better than this guy. I think this guy’s trying to turn my country into a socialist country, like Venezuela. I don’t think he’s very smart, and I think he’s too old for the job. I'll bet he just sleeps through Cabinet meetings while his handlers make all the decisions. I don’t think he should even be the President because he stole the election. There was so much election fraud last fall, but the Government didn’t do anything about it. Figures. 

But I am a Patriotic American™, because I support the military. I think it's great that they're fighting for our freedom all around the world. I'm glad they're out there hunting down the terrorists so they can't come back and do what they did to us on 9/11 again. When professional athletes kneel during the national anthem, I think it's really disrespectful towards our military. I don't think they should be allowed to do that. If they want to protest something, they should find another way to do it.

I support the police. I think the police make the difference between Law and Order, and chaos. When I was growing up, if the police stopped you or asked you a question, you said "Yes sir" or "No sir" and you did whatever they told you to do. If you talk back to a police officer, I think you deserve whatever you get. People need to show respect for the police, no matter what. If you resist arrest and get killed, it's your own fault.

But it kinda bugs me when the police pull me over if I'm driving a little too fast, or if I'm on the phone in my truck, you know? It's so irritating. I'm like, don't you guys have any real criminals to catch? Why can't you just leave me be? It's not like I'm burning down stores or stealing HDTVs.

Anyway, I hate it when people protest against the police. I think it's unamerican and unpatriotic. Those people are just criminals who want to destroy stuff instead of following the law like the rest of us. Protests like that shouldn't be allowed. They should all be locked up, and so should the politicians who suck up to them.

But I love my Congressman. He's a real American, just like me. He speaks out against the crooked President all the time and calls him out on his lies. He's on my favorite talk show all the time, I never miss it. I know he cares about me and my neighbors. I don't much like my Senators, though. They're both elitists who want to sell out our country to foreign interests. I make sure to criticize them on social media whenever I can. Somebody has to stand up against their tyranny!

Oh yeah, I also hate it when people disrespect the Flag. Like my Senators. They won't even wear American flag lapel pins. I've e-mailed them several times about it, and they've never done anything. I think that tells you where their sympathies lie. And those football players who won't stand for the National Anthem. I'll bet they don't even know all the words. And don't get me started on people who burn the flag! They're traitors, and they should leave the country. There ought to be a Constitutional Amendment against burning the flag.

I'm a Patriotic American™, and I think we ought to take care of our own citizens first. I don't think we should be sending billions of dollars to other countries while we have military veterans who are homeless. Keep our money here at home for the benefit of our people. And I don't think we should have so many immigrants. Yeah, my great-grandparents came here from Europe, but that's different. They were looking for freedom. They worked hard and learned to speak English and tried to fit in. They came here the right way. Immigrants today aren't like that at all. They just want to come here and get a handout, and steal jobs from real Americans. They don't even try to learn our language or our culture, but they want us to learn theirs. Well, that's too bad. We were here first. If you come to America, you need to learn to be an American and speak English. If that's more than you're willing to do, then go home.

I'm a Patriotic American™, and I value my freedom. I don't think the government has any right to tell me how to live my life. If I don't want to wear a mask, I don't have to. COVID is all a hoax anyway. It's just a bunch of government elitists trying to turn us all into obedient sheep. And don't try to tell me what kind of guns I can buy, or how many. The Constitution says that the right to bear arms can't be violated. So don't give me any of your illegal crap about licenses or waiting periods. It's all just a money-making scam to fund government anti-gun fanatics.

I am a Patriotic American™, but I'm afraid my kids won't be. Their school is brainwashing them to be little New World Order drones. Like Common Core math. Why do kids need to learn math? We all have calculators on our phones now. It's so stupid and pointless. Their science teachers are indoctrinating them with bullcrap about vaccines and global warming. Fake news! Scientists are all liberal atheist shills. And their history teachers want them to learn about cultures in Africa and Asia. What for? My ancestors aren't from Africa or Asia. Why do my kids need to know any of that crap? They don't. We thought about homeschooling the kids, but that just takes so much time and work. Why can't the schools just take our kids for the day and teach them what we want them to learn? That's what we pay taxes for, isn't it? We're paying their salaries, so they should be working for us. My kid's not gonna be an artist or a poet. He's gonna go into business or be a lawyer. Why does he need to learn about any of that other stuff?

My country's going to Hell in a handbasket. But I will continue to stand up and raise my voice for common sense, personal freedom, and traditional Anglo-Saxon values. 

Because I am a Patriotic American™. I believe in God, Guns, and the GOP, just like my Dad and my Grandpa did. If it was good enough for them, it's damn sure good enough for us today. I'm proud to be an American. I have a gun rack and a huge American flag in the back of my truck. My wife has a Thin Blue Line bumper sticker on her Sentra. We are loud and proud in our support for America, and we don't care who knows it. And if any of you Antifa/BLM terrorists have a problem with that, you can go straight back to your s***hole countries for all I care.