Holiday Weekend Meme Goodness

Part I: Friday's Feast
Friday's Feast for Friday, 24 November 2006.

Appetizer Have you ever changed a flat tire by yourself?
Absolutely. Like swimming, it's one of those things that I think everyone should know how to do. My kids (if any) will.

Soup Do you have an "innie" or an "outie" belly button?
I'm an innie.

Salad Name a new paint color and describe it.
Parchment - a soft, pale brown color.

Main Course What is your favorite holiday tradition?
My biggest holiday tradition involves getting together with the family. Since I live hundreds of miles away from any/all of them, there's almost always travel involved. This Thanksgiving weekend involved a trip to Pony, Montana, that was more eventful than most. I'll be writing more about that as time permits over the next few days.

Dessert If you were a cookie, what kind of cookie would you be, and why?
A cookie ... hmm ... I'm going to go with ... snickerdoodle. I don't know why. I just like the way it sounds coming off the tongue. Snickerdoodle!

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Part II: Top 5 On Friday
Top Five on Friday from The Music Memoirs:

Top 5 Long Songs (Songs over 5 minutes)
As a fan of progressive rock, this category is just made for me. Here we go:

» "Lenses" by Singularity (15:55)
From the album Color of Space

» "Impact I: Fate Speaks" by Explorers Club (15:59)
From the album Age of Impact

» "At the End of the Day" by Spock's Beard (16:28)
From the album V

» "Mind Drive" by Yes (18:38)
From the album Keys to Ascension, Vol. 2

» "2112" by Rush (20:33)
From the album 2112

One hour and twenty-seven minutes of great music in a single meme. Can't beat that!

"Better View"

Behind the saddest eyes one thing is always true
It's really not so hard as it may seem
A silent prayer I made but never said to you
May it find the way into your dreams

That someday you will fly up where the skies are blue
But you don't have to leave to find a better view

Inside your lonely world, there isn't time for dreams
When you won't try to feel beyond the pain
It's what you choose to be when all you try to see
Makes every color start to look the same

Someday you will fly up where the skies are blue
But you don't have to leave to find a better view

When time is on your side, you know you just can't lose
By letting go of all that's come before
And if you change your mind, I know you'll surely find
Happiness is just outside your door

Someday you will fly up where the skies are blue
But you don't have to leave to find a better view

Someday you will find a place where skies are blue
But you must learn to see to find a better view

--
Music and Lyrics by Mark McCrite and Erik Norlander
From the Rocket Scientists album Revolution Road
© 2006 Waking Dream Music, BMI

They're Baaack!

Part I: Friday's Feast
Friday's Feast for Friday, November 17th, 2006

Appetizer Do you believe there is intelligent life on other planets?
After teaching junior high school for the past month and a half, I'm not entirely convinced there's intelligent life on this planet a lot of the time.
But yes, I think there is intelligent life out there. This universe is too big a place for us to have it all to ourselves.

Soup What is one thing you said you'd never do, but you eventually did?
I swore I'd never get another credit card, but when it came time to start paying wedding expenses, that's exactly what I did. Time to be disciplined again, I guess.

Salad Who is the teacher that influenced you the most in school?
As much as I hate to admit it, it was probably Ms. Schulz. I recall my senior Research class with dread. I struggled with that class as with no other, and I hated it with a passion. But it made me a much better writer, and that has opened a lot of doors for me.

Main Course If you could trade places with anyone for one day, who would it be and why?
I could name any number of politicians I'd like to trade places with for a day, if only to answer the question, "What the %^*@# were you thinking?!"

Dessert What is your favorite dish to prepare?
I love to make waffles. We got a most excellent professional grade waffle maker for our wedding. We've put it to good use.

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Part II: Top Five on Friday
This week's Top 5 on Friday from The Music Memoirs

Top 5 Songs That Make You Laugh

» "White & Nerdy" by 'Weird Al' Yankovic
You knew this list had to have at least one song by the Master of Parody, didn't you? This one was actually a Top 10 single in the U.S. And the original artist, Chamillionaire, has the song posted on his MySpace page. How cool is that?

» "The Elements" by Tom Lehrer
...and if Weird Al had to be on this list, so did Tom Lehrer. While I initially thought I'd include "The Masochism Tango", the science geek in me couldn't resist posting a link to this animation featuring Tom's chemistry classic.

» "Industrial Disease" by Dire Straits
Forget Dylan and the Great Folk Music Scare of the 1960's (when it almost caught on), this is the best social commentary I've ever heard set to music. Splendid!

» "A Boy Named Sue" by Johnny Cash
A true classic. "And if I ever have a son, I think I'm gonna name him . . . Bill, or George! Anything but Sue! I still hate that name!"

» "Cynically Yours" by Amy Rigby
"I, your loving (blank),
Take you, (insert name here),
Because frankly, I'm just too tired
To look around anymore...."
What more needs to be said?

Mercenary

For the last two and a half months, I've been working pretty much full time as a substitute teacher. I worked for about three and a half weeks as a math teacher at Scary West Side High School, only the very first part of which I've written about previously. Yes, I know I promised more on that, loyal readers, and I'm sorry. I'll get to it when/if I can. Let me just say that the next chapter in that saga involved spending my planning period filling out a police report after breaking up a fight between to young women. That's right, a girl fight, during which I was struck (not seriously) by one of the participants. Fun.

Anyway, that teacher come back from his military assignment—and none too soon!—and I moved on to another long-term project. Starting the last week in September, I taught pre-algebra and algebra at a Not-So-Scary West Side Junior High School. Sure, there have been some behavior issues with some of the students—mostly in the 4th and 5th period classes—but I never had to talk to a police detective about any of them. And unlike the SWSHS assignment, I was in at least weekly contact with the regular teacher. Not bad, all things considered.

So my long-term assignment at NSSWSJHS come to an end last Wednesday when the regular teacher got medical clearance to return to school. I took Thursday and Friday off and enjoyed a well-deserved four-day weekend. But that's not the end of the story. About two weeks ago I was leaving school when I remembered something I neglected to get from the classroom. So I went back in and picked it up. On my way back out I saw one of my 3rd period students (3rd period was my favorite class, with 7th period a very close second) and said 'Hi'. He was in one of the other teachers' classrooms, so I came in and talked with him, another student, and the teacher, Ms. L. In this conversation, Ms. L asked what my plans were once Mrs. B got back, whether I was going to keep teaching, etc. I told her I'd be working on my M.A. program as well as substituting as much as the workload allowed me to do. To this she replied, "You know, I'm going to be out for a couple of days the week after next, would you be available? What's your sub number?" Long story short, I covered for her class today and am doing so again tomorrow.

Now, during the day today I was talking to the teacher who runs the computer lab across the hall. She mentioned that she needed to schedule a doctor's appointment for sometime in the next few days and asked if I'd be available. I told her my schedule for the week. Sure enough, during 7th period, one of her students come into my class with a note asking if I could cover for her on Wednesday. So this week's stay at NSSWSJHS has been extended another day.

I also got a call from a teacher at the District Technical High School a week or so ago. She said she needed someone to cover her classes for the 14th and 16th. I called her back and told her I was already committed for the 14th but could do the 16th with no problems. So she signed me up. Now I've got four days' worth of work this week, without really having to look for any of them. I guess my name is getting out there.

(To help that process along, I've decided to design some business cards that I can leave with some of the schools—especially some of the schools closer to my house—listing my contact information and emphasizing that I can teach math and science. I was going to go buy some blank business card sheets for inkjet/laser printers at an office supply store to do this. Then, on mentioning this idea to Nancy, she told me she already has some. Huzzah!)

Finally, while I was on the phone with my Mother this evening, another call rang through. I didn't answer it, but the caller left a message. It was someone from the DTHS, wanting to know if I could cover for her on Friday and Monday. By the time I called her back she had found someone else to take those days, but she said she had a couple of days she needed to have covered in December. Combined with three days I'm working at the same school the week before Christmas (sadly, the teacher is going to be in the Caribbean and unable to teach that week), I now have five days scheduled for next month, too.

So it appears that I'm rapidly becoming an educational gun-for-hire. Have chalk, will travel, that sort of thing. And do you know what the very best part of all of this is?

I haven't set foot in the call center in well over a month.

And Nothing Shall Offend Them

When we believe or say we have been offended, we usually mean we feel insulted, mistreated, snubbed, or disrespected. And certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean-spirited things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us to take offense. However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to offend you or to offend me. Indeed, believing that another person offended us is fundamentally false. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else.

-Elder David A. Bednar
LDS General Conference
Sunday, 1 October 2006

The Morning After

I went to bed last night knowing that the Democratic Party had taken control of the House of Representatives, and most likely would take the Senate as well. I woke up this morning, got ready for the day, and left for work. And I noticed something interesting:

Nothing.

Nothing at all had changed.

For all the clamor and name-calling and 'end of the world as we know it' Republican lamentation and 'In your face!' Democratic jubilation, my world is pretty much the same today as it was 48 hours ago. The sun still rose in the east this morning, and it looks like it'll set in the west tonight. Traffic on I-15 and SR201 is still heavy at times but generally smooth. Gas still costs more than it should, and my car still uses too much of it. People are still blowing each other up in the Middle East. Wendy's still offers the Caesar side salad instead of french fries.

What's all the fuss about? I don't think either major political party has a really firm grasp on what mainstream America thinks or wants or cares about right now. And I'm not convinced that the Democratic 'takeover' of Congress is going to impact most Americans, except for who's saying what on TV. The underdog has become overlord and vice versa. Ho hum, how predictably boring.

But if anyone's interested, here's what I would say to both sides:

To those on the far Right: This is your wake-up call. Once the horse is dead, beating it further doesn't help. Times change and even Republicans have to change with them. Being Conservative doesn't mean that you don't also have to be progressive. If it's not working—and the recent election results would seem to indicate that it's not—then you've got to let go of it and try something else. And try listening for a change. Stop telling us what we think and try asking us what we think.

To those on the far Left: It's time to put your money where your mouth is. You've been whining about how bad everything is for so long and saying that you could do better. Well, now's the time. Put up or shut up. You say it's broke, so fix it. And don't just change it—really fix it. 'Different' is not an adequate substitute for 'better'.

And to those who consider themselves moderates: Don't despair. There are still a few of us left, even if neither side seems to care what we think anymore.

Highly Illogical

I made reference to a logical fallacy in my election-related rant a few days ago. It occurs to me that I might not have been able to recognize that fallacy for what it was, had I not recently received an e-mail detailing several such tactics. And now, as a public service, I'm going to share them with you, loyal readers. Now you, too, can recognize all the election year shysterism for what it is. You're welcome.

Let me share with you Geek Press' Excellent List of Logical Fallacies.

You'll need to click over there to read the whole list, but here are a few of my favorites:

Ad Hominem:
This is the best logical fallacy, and if you disagree with me, well, you suck.

Appeal To Majority:
Most people think that this fallacy is the best, so clearly it is.

Slippery Slope:
If you don't like Slippery Slope arguments, you will do poorly in class, drop out of school, commit crimes, go to prison, and die of AIDS.

Appeal to Fear:
If you don't accept Appeal to Fear as the greatest fallacy, then THE TERRORISTS WILL HAVE WON. Do you want that on your conscience, that THE TERRORISTS WILL HAVE WON because you were a pansy who didn't really think that Appeal to Fear was worth voting for, and you wanted to vote for something else? Of course not, and neither would the people you let die because THE TERRORISTS WILL HAVE WON.

These last two were the main components of the ad that triggered this whole thing. And now, my favorite:

Appeal To Force:
If you don't agree that Appeal to Force is the greatest logical fallacy, I will kick your @ss.

My work here is done.

Random Funny

I saw a T-shirt the other day that cracked me up:

I Have CDO.
It's like Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, but in alphabetical order the way it's supposed to be.

No comments from The Liz about my CD collection....

My Top Five

Top Five on Friday
This week's Top 5 on Friday from The Music Memoirs

Top Five Albums That Have Had an Influence on Your Life
Now that I think about it, I really have no idea what I was thinking when I came up with this question. But I like a lot of different kinds of music, so I'll list 5 albums that have introduced me to new musical genres.


» 90125 by Yes
By time spent in listening, progressive rock is probably my favorite musical genre. And while this isn't the band's best or most progressive work, it's the one that got me listening to them. This, in turn, led to explorations of other popular progressive bands like Asia, Genesis, and Kansas. Now I'm into groups as varied as the Moody Blues, Pink Floyd, Rush, Dream Theater, Rocket Scientists, Singularity, Marillion, Iluvatar, Plato's Halo, Spock's Beard, Aztec Jade/Ascension Theory...and the list goes on. All because of 90125.
Favorite Track: "Changes".


» Soul Gravy by Cross Canadian Ragweed
My second favorite musical genre, as it turns out, is alternative country. I was introduced to this musical style by my brother Sam, who knows all the bands and all the songs of the Red Dirt country scene. So on a lark, I bought this CD. I loved it. It had bite and heart and attitude and good musicianship. This opened the door for other groups like Reckless Kelly, Micky and the Motorcars, Jason Boland and the Stragglers, Robert Earl Keen, Amy Rigby, and so on.
Favorite Track: "Wanna Rock & Roll"


» The Narada Collection, Vol. 1
As a Mormon missionary, we had a rule in our area that we could only listen to instrumental or choral music—in other words, no 'mainstream' or pop music. Another missionary had this tape (yes, I owned it first as a cassette) and we listened to it as we studied. I loved it. I was already familiar with the work of Vangelis (See below), but this album really introduced me to New Age instrumental music.
Favorite Track: "Night Wind" by David Arkenstone


» Surfing with the Alien by Joe Satriani
Strangely enough, I was also introduced to this album as a missionary. It was one of those "It fits the letter of the law" sorts of things. I'd always liked the driving feel and style of hard rock, but could never stand the lyrics or the lyricists. Problem solved. This introduced me to artists like Steve Vai and Eric Johnson, as well as giving me an appreciation of great guitar work in other genres (Steve Howe, Mark Knopfler, Steve Lukather, Alex Lifeson, Al DiMeola, etc.).
Favorite Track: "Crushing Day". (Unfortunately, my CD has a scratch right across the middle of this track. Maybe I'll put it on my Christmas wish list....)


» The Music of Cosmos
I've owned this album on five different occasions and in three different formats (LP, cassette, CD). And the version I now own isn't even in print anymore; my friend Curtis ordered it for me online from a store in South Africa a few years back. That version has been replaced by an extended, 2-disc version that is also now out of print.

As musical gateways go, this is the big one. This album introduced me to electronic music and expanded my appreciation for different styles of classical music. As a result of owning this album, I also now own works by Vangelis, Shostakovich, Hovhaness, Rimsky-Korsakov, and Tomita, among others. I probably listen to it at least once a month on average. It's my favorite CD of all time. I fear for the day when I have to replace it again, because I have no idea where I'll find another copy.
Favorite Track: "The Sea Named Solaris" by J.S. Bach/Isao Tomita