Dude, Where's My Tux?

I picked up my tuxedo today, and it looks good. Pretty darn good, if I do say so myself. This marks a nominally satisfactory end to a generally unsatisfactory experience.

Way back in January, when we more or less knew we'd be getting married but I hadn't actually asked yet, Nancy went to a few bridal shows. At one of these shows, she saw a great deal on tuxedo rentals from The Men’s Wearhouse. So she put down a deposit. At that time, we thought we'd probably be getting married on April 22nd, so that was the date she put down.

When we went in to the Sandy, Utah location order the tuxedoes in March, we told the lady there that we needed to change the date to the 21st. She said that was no problem, she'd take care of it.

But she didn't. We found out a couple of weeks later when people were starting to go in for measurements that the event date still showed as the 22nd. So Nancy called to ask them to change it. When I found out a few days later that it still hadn't been changed, I called them myself. The lady I talked to apologized and said she'd take care of it.

Then, near the end of March, I went in for my measurements at the Layton, Utah store. And I found out that the date still hadn't been changed. So I asked the lady in Layton to do it, and she actually did. Problem solved.

Or so I thought. I got a phone call during training a few days later, which I obviously couldn't answer at the time. When I checked my messages later that night, it was one of the ladies from the Sandy store. She said, in not so many words, "We noticed that someone in the Layton store changed your event date. We didn't hear anything about it from you, so we've changed it back." Grrrr.

I called the Sandy store the next morning and asked to speak with the store manager. I explained to her the mess about the date change, and she put me on hold while she "went to a phone near the computer". So I waited for about five minutes. Then she came back on the line, except that it wasn't her. She'd passed me off to someone else, allegedly because the other girl had 'more experience' with tuxedo rentals. It bothered me that the store manager didn’t feel competent enough to handle the situation herself, especially after I’d specifically asked for her. Anyhow, the other girl said she'd call ‘the hub’ and make sure all the dates were changed. Then she called me back half an hour later and said it was done. She read me all the names and dates, and they were all correct.

Just to be sure, I called back a few days later just to make sure everything was still okay. It was. Problem solved.

But that’s not the end of the story. Yesterday as I was talking to Nancy, she asked me to call about the tuxedoes. It seems that her sister-in-law had called about her husband's and sons' tuxes and had been told they were being sent to Colorado.

Okay, here's the deal: one of the reasons we chose TMW was so that family and friends all over the country could go somewhere locally, get fitted, and pick up the tuxes wherever was most convenient. The future brother-in-law and nephews in question live in Texas. They were fitted in Texas and told the people there they would pick up their tuxes in Utah.

Assumption: If the groom is fitted in Utah and arranges to pick up his tuxedo in Utah, it seems likely the wedding is taking place in what state? Say it with me: Utah. Question: If the event is taking place in Utah and some of the participants are fitted in Texas, where will they be most likely to pick up the tuxedoes? In Texas or in Utah, right? What possible reason could there be to send those tuxes to Colorado?

So I called the Sandy store this morning to confirm what was scheduled to go where. They weren't open yet, so I left them a rather direct message and told them to call me back to discuss what was going on. They never did. Instead, I ended up going in to the Sugarhouse store, which is where I'd arranged to have my tuxedo delivered, to pick it up and see where everything was going.

The good news: Everybody's tuxes were now available for pickup at their respective correct locations. The bad news: Except mine. My tux wasn't in Sugarhouse. They'd sent it to West Jordan for no reason any of them seemed able to explain. Okay, so at least they got the state right. But to get to that store took half an hour each direction. I really have better things to do with that kind of time right now.

In the end, Men’s Wearhouse got all of our tuxedoes where and when they needed to be. They even gave me back the deposit from the bridal show today. Still, given all the difficulties we faced - all of which could have been avoided if the employees had just been paying attention - I can't really give them a good review.

So if you have an upcoming event and are in need of formal men's attire, let me wholeheartedly recommend that you go somewhere other than The Men’s Wearhouse. If you go there expecting all the wonderful things they talk about in their commercials, you're going to be disappointed.

I guarantee it.

Movin' Movin' Movin'

Money talks and bull____ walks
And everything I own
You could put in a box
(Micky & the Motorcars, "Ain't In It for the Money")

Fifty-five boxes, actually. I know because I counted them as I unloaded my car into the new apartment last night. I don't know which was more surprising: that I actually have 55 boxes of stuff, or that I could fit it all into the back of the Dreadnought. The latter, I suppose. I am a bit of a pack rat—which is like saying the Titanic took on a bit of water.

Yes, I'm moving again. This move is certain to be orders of magnitude better than the last move. The reasons for this move are better (i.e., moving into a shared living space instead of out of one). The time element is not so critical this time around. If it takes me an extra day or two to get the last remnants over to the new place, it's no big deal with either landlord. I have a bit more help lined up this time, too. And I didn't stay up all night packing this time.

The only hitch seems to be the weather. It started raining last night as I was unloading my boxes, and it hasn't stopped. The forecast calls for "a passing morning shower" today. So we'll likely be doing at least some of this in the rain. Still, I'll take the rain over "highs in the mid-90's", which is what I had last time.

So this is the last post from my current location. Once this goes up, I'll dismantle my computer and get ready to set up shop in the new place. We don't have ISP service there yet, so I'll feel a little disconnected. Once we figure out where we're going and what our shared financial situation looks like, we'll see about getting hooked back up to the outside world. Until then, I've still got access at work.

And now it's time for breakfast and a quick shower, followed by a small bit of last-minute packing. Then it's off to get the truck and start the adventure. I'm taking some stuff down to Nancy's family's house first. Then we'll pack her stuff and move it to the new place. Finally, we'll come back to my place, get (at least most of) my remaining stuff, and move it over to the new location.

Wish us luck, everyone!

Quote of the Day

From my friend Wendy Kay, who's currently teaching her three young boys merengue, waltz, and cha-cha:

My sons WILL dance. It is the perfect metaphor for priesthood leadership in the home and I don't want them to miss it.

Time Again

I'm starting to grow frustrated with my training duties at work. It's just become so monotonous; I do the same lecture, testing, grading, and paperwork experience every week (twice, most weeks).

Training usually runs something like this. The night before training, if I'm working, I'll put all the trainees' information into the computer. I'll make sure there are enough manuals, sample job briefs, and quiz instructions for everyone who's scheduled. This takes care of most of the preparations.

On training day I'll arrive between 2:00 and 2:30 p.m., depending somewhat on how much I was able to get done the previous night. I finish up anything I didn't get done before. Then I'll get the training room set up, make sure there are enough chairs and that the computers are working, that sort of thing. And I wait for the contestants to show up. We generally have about 60-70% arrive, though I've had everyone show up on a few occasions. I've also had no one show up. You never know.

Once the trainees arrive, I give them their login information and their manuals. Training starts right at 3:00 p.m.; anyone who arrives late is encouraged to reschedule (and to show up on time next time). I tend to be a real stickler about arriving promptly. The single biggest ongoing problem we have with our employees is attendance. We let them pretty much set their own schedules, but a large number of them still can't seem to get their butts to work when they say they're going to be there. The way I see it, if they can't even get to training on time, the chances that they're going to be reliable in the long term are not good.

The first part of training covers policies and procedures. I think of it as the "Thou shalt not" part of the training. This typically lasts until about 4:25, at which point I take them on a tour of the place. I give them a short break, and we usually get back to business around 4:40.

The second part of the training deals with the job itself. We talk about the fine art of telephone interviewing and collecting accurate, reliable data. We talk a lot about techniques and do a little role-playing to reinforce the important concepts. Then I introduce them to one of the two computer programs used to do the job, our electronic time card. I show them how to sign in and out for the day, how to change the project they're working on, and how to sign out for break. By this time, it's usually about 6:15, and I give them a ten-minute break.

The third and final part of training involves the interviewing program. It's actually pretty helpful: it dials the phone, brings up a script for the interviewers to read, and gives them a way to record the respondents' answers. It basically does everything except carry on the conversation for them. I show them how to set it up for practicing and for making calls, and I teach them how to disposition calls: refusals, answering machines, callbacks, and so on.

Then we do a practice survey together. They take turns asking me questions and recording my responses. I try to teach them some problem-solving skills in the process by throwing them a few unexpected responses. I tell them that the practice survey they do with me will likely be harder than any real survey they ever have to do.

Then comes the skill test. It's done on the computer in the form of a survey; they simply click on or type in the correct answer to each question as it comes up. We give them 30 minutes to complete the test. It's 24 questions, and it's open book, so that doesn't present much of a problem to most trainees. The pass rate is 90% or more. Those who pass are offered employment and given new hire paperwork to fill out. Those few who fail are informed that we cannot offer them employment at the present time, but they are welcome to try again later, generally in six months. Those who pass are usually done with the test and filling out paperwork by 8:00.

As the new employees finish, I review their paperwork and take copies of their identification. Then, once everyone has finished the paperwork and left, I start organizing their files and getting their information into the computer. Depending on how many I've hired, I generally get done anywhere between 9:00 (on nights with small classes) and 10:00 (like last night).

As I said, it's pretty monotonous. All you've done is read about the process, and you're probably thinking it's monotonous too.

The monotony is the biggest part of the problem, but there's a new issue to consider now. The owner of the company has established a couple of new standards for the coming months:
  1) Hire 20 new employees a week, and
  2) Start cutting back on the time spent in the training process.
So now I'm feeling pressure not only to hire more people—which probably means training twice a week for the foreseeable future—but also to spend less overall time doing so.

I've always felt like I could take as much time as necessary to make sure the new employees are as well-prepared as possible for the job. And the other managers and supervisors have generally been happy with the job I do. I've had a couple of them tell me specifically how much better the new employees are doing now that I'm the one training them. So at least in my mind, it's been worth the time I've been spending.

All of a sudden, I've got deadlines.

Of course, I can do the training a lot quicker. When I act as Overlord, I train our new temps in about an hour. But all I show them is how to use the software. And really, that's all they need. They don't need to know about our attendance policy, or how to ask probing questions, or what makes an effective introduction. Basically, they just need to be there. The training is adequate for the need. And if one of them really screws up, well, we can always order another temp to replace them. They're disposable that way. With our own employees, though, not really so much.

So I can do the whole thing quick and dirty, if that's really what the power(s) that be think is important. But I don't think that's the right way. Maybe that's my problem. Maybe I just need to change my thinking, stop worrying about getting them trained 'right' and worry about getting them trained fast, and we can deal with anything they've missed along the way. We do that last part anyway. To be honest, I feel like half of what I try to teach them never really sinks in. It's amazing how often I use the phrase, "We covered that in training, remember?" I guess you can lead someone to training, but you can't make 'em think.

So what do I do? I guess I'll try to reach some sort of compromise: find a way to do the training faster while retaining the most important things in the lesson. In fact, I've been trying to move things along speedily the last couple of weeks—with exactly the same results. Last night, for example, we were about 15 minutes ahead after the policies and procedures. Yet somehow we lost that extra time somewhere along the rest of the journey, and finished up right at 8:00. I don't know how much time I can cut and still teach the newbies what I think they need to know.

This whole business reminds me of a sign I saw in a mechanic's shop once:

I can do it quick.
I can do it cheap.
I can do it well.
Pick two and call me back.

To Be As One

I hired someone interesting today at work. She's the sister of one of our former employees, and she came to tonight's training with her boyfriend. No big deal there, it happens all the time. She made it through the training all right, albeit with a fair amount of help from him. The skill test at the end was another matter; she really struggled with it. And this was after I had to tell the two of them specifically that she had to do the test on her own.

She did well enough to get the job, at least on a provisional basis. This means she'll get two weeks to see how she's doing. If she's still struggling after that, we'll let her go. Anyway, she made it, and I gave her the new hire paperwork to fill out. And it was interesting to watch. I saw her boyfriend fill out his own paperwork, then literally walk her through everything as she (they) filled out hers.

It made me concerned. Not about how she'd do on the job; pretty much anyone with an I.Q. higher than room temperature can do the job. I was concerned about her future. I hoped that this boyfriend of hers would treat her right. I hoped she'd be okay if he were ever not there for her.

I was scared at the thought of being so dependent on someone.

And as I thought a little more about it, I began to see shades of that in my first marriage. Don't get me wrong; my ex was not a domineering, controlling shrew, and I was not a sycophantic pushover. But there were times—and more than a few, if I'm to be completely honest—when I let something I considered right or important go because she had a different opinion.

I know that marriage is built on compromise as well as trust and mutual respect. And I tried to be accommodating to her, especially when things got difficult. With the benefit of 20/20 hindsight, I wonder now if I was too accommodating. While the stated reason for the divorce was financial difficulties, she told me once along the way that she felt like she was making all the decisions and that all the responsibility was on her shoulders. After a while, she just decided she couldn't carry it any more.

By the same token, though, there were many times when I made it a point to try to take the lead. And sometimes it worked. But too often, I found that my decisions didn't make her happy. What I'd decided hadn't been what she wanted. So that didn't help.

So now, as I look forward to a new marriage and a new companion, I wonder what I've learned. There must be balance; this I know. But how to find it? Aye, there's the rub. Paul talked about being unequally yoked (2 Corinthians 6:14). We have the same core beliefs, and that's good. We wouldn't be getting married otherwise. But what about the day-to-day things? How will we know—how will I know—how much is enough, or too much, or too little? To paraphrase Robert Fulghum, where is the line between 'turn the other cheek' and 'enough is enough already'?

I don't want to walk ahead or behind on this journey, but beside. I want this to be a true partnership, with the two of us as equal partners in everything and in every way. Maybe I went into things the last time not fully knowing what that meant. Do I know any better now? How do I keep from making the same mistakes I made the last time? And how do I keep from making worse mistakes this time?

Am I worrying about this too much?

Coming Soon...

...to a bridge near you!

Two For the Road

Part I: Friday's Feast
Friday's Feast, 7 April 2006.

Appetizer Name a trait you share with your parents or your children.
My parens can both be very stubborn (or determined) sometimes, and so can I.

Soup List 3 qualities of a good leader, in your opinion.
1. Genuine concern for the people they lead;
2. Being able to see the 'big picture'; and
3. The ability to make difficult decisions and live with the consequences.

Salad Who is your favorite television chef?
I really only know two TV chefs: Martin Yan ("Yan can cook, so can you!") and Emeril Lagasse ("Bam!").

Main Course Share a story about a gift you received from someone you love.
After exchanging gifts this with Nancy and her family this past Christmas, she brought out one final gift. It weighed a ton. I tried to shake it, but that didn't tell me anything useful. So I opened the box and found the complete Firefly series—and two bricks. She did the same thing at Valentine's Day with Wallace & Gromit - The Curse of the Were-Rabbit.

Dessert How do you react under pressure?
I take a good antihistamine, and that generally clears it right up. :)
Seriously, it usually takes me a while to formulate a battle plan for dealing with pressure-filled situations, but I eventually figure it out, work it out, come out of things all right.

--

Part II: Top Five on Friday
Top Five on Friday from The Music Memoirs:

Top 5 songs played on your winamp, media player, ipod, etc.
I don't really havea 'favorites' list on Winamp, so I just loaded everything, hit random play, and wrote down the first five songs that played. Fair enough?

» "If You Belonged to Me" by Traveling Wilburys

» "Nobody's Home" by Kansas

» "True Colors" by Asia

» "Get What You Need" by Jet

» "Take a Breath" by Lana Lane

Head Above Water

We're now at 16 days and counting until the big event. Things are moderately crazy, but so far I'm maintaining my sanity. Which is a good thing, because I don't think Nancy would be excited about being married to a madman....

--

The most immediate difficulty is wedding announcements. Nancy ordered them through a company who could get them to us quickly and at a decent price—with 'quickly' being the most important issue. They promised to have them back by Monday, so we planned to have an 'invitation party' Tuesday night to address, stamp, and otherwise get them out to the public. Except that the company called Nancy on Monday to let her know they weren't on that day's truck. Not a big deal, though, they should be in tomorrow. Except that they weren't.

So we've got just over two weeks until the event and no invitations yet. We should get them today (they say). ::crosses fingers:: So after Nancy gets through with work and I get done with my training class tonight, we'll be having a late-night envelope-stuffing extravaganza. Fortunately, I think everyone who's planning on attending the event already knows about it. All we're doing is reinforcing the particulars with the announcements.

--

I've been doing some cleaning and organizing in preparation for the move. I cleaned the bathroom yesterday, which is one of my least favorite chores. I've also been packing over the past few days. I've got most of my CDs packed (six boxes and counting), and the books and videos are next. Other than that, most of my possessions are still in boxes from the last move.

Other than the furniture. When I leave, I'm taking the TV, VCR/DVD combo, microwave, couch, LoveSac, Play Station, coffee table(s), chairs, ironing board, barbecue grill, and one of the living room lamps with me. Because they're mine. The front room is going to look pretty bare once I'm gone. In contrast, I hope there's enough room for both of our stuff in the new place.

--

Speaking of which, we got a pretty good deal on our new apartment. It's in the same ward I currently live in; our landlord is the ward executive secretary. When I announced that we were getting married, there was a big campaign by the ward the keep me/us there. The Bishop even asked us to look for something in the ward. In fact, he pointed me toward the executive secretary. So we're staying put, unless the job situation takes us out of the area.

The new landlord has been really flexible with us. They're giving us a great rental rate, and they held the property for a month for us. The new place is very roomy, bright, and clean. The only disadvantage is that it's a basement, which means low ceilings in a couple of places. I just have to learn to duck at the appropriate times.

--

Yesterday was a pain...or a series of little pains. I slipped and scuffed a couple of knuckles on the couch early in the day. Then, while wielding a pair of scissors, I managed to snip myself and left a ¼" cut on the inside of my left index finger. It's amazing how much a little cut like that can sting. And then I stubbed my little toe on my computer chair. Being a klutz can really be unpleasant sometimes.

--

I did something truly truckworthy with the Dreadnought yesterday. I helped a neighbor bring his car down from Woods Cross. When we arrived at his old place, the car was there in the driveway with most of the engine and cooling system in the trunk. He looked in vain for a tow strap, so it was a good thing I keep a sturdy nylon tow rope in my car. We got him hooked up and began the journey south. We stuck to the back roads, taking Redwood Road back into Salt Lake County and turning up 1700 South to get back to the Sugarhouse neighborhood.

It went off without a hitch (so to speak). We had one interesting moment coming down the Redwood Road viaduct over I-80 where I had to make a more sudden stop than I would have preferred, but his brakes were also up to the task. We also lost the connection on 1700 South just past State street, but we were able to get his car hooked back up with minimal difficulty. It took us about 45 minutes to make the 16.8 mile trip, which I thought was pretty good, all things considered.

As he was thanking me for my help, he made a comment about how surprised he was that things went so easily. He had been expecting real problems getting his car up the rather substantial hill on 1700 South. Though I held my tongue, I wanted to say, "Since you drive a Civic, I'll forgive your ignorance. But when you drive an American-made truck with a V8, you don't really worry much about hills."

--

We've decided not to get cable TV at the new place. It's just too expensive, and we're going to concentrate on paying off debt for the first six to twelve months. So I'm going shopping for an old-fashioned TV antenna. Imagine life with only local channels. No Star Trek reruns, no History Channel specials, no ESPN. Strange to contemplate.

--

I look around my little room, and I see more empty boxes than full ones. That means I need to get back to work. Have a great week, everyone.