Hydra

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I've been working one night a week since late November as a shift manager at the call center at which I work. It's been occasionally stressful, to be sure, but I've adjusted well, and the extra hours are certainly welcome. As I also mentioned in that post, the job I had really been looking forward to was that of trainer. I had spent much of September and October training temps (part of my duties as Overlord), so I had a pretty good idea about what was involved and how I would approach it if the job of training our own new people was mine.

Anyway, about three weeks ago, Jason (the call center's Big Boss) called me into his office for a private meeting. He told me that Laura, the recently appointed replacement trainer, was getting a new job. He wanted to know if I was still interested in learning the trainer position. I told him that I was. He asked me if I was concerned about being pulled in yet another direction with a new set of job duties, and I told him that wouldn't be a problem. So he gave me a copy of the trainer's manual to study in preparation, and we arranged for me to sit in and observe when Laura trained the next week's group of recruits on the 13th.

The day in question rolled around, and I showed up ready to watch and learn. I had read through the whole manual and had developed some ideas about how I'd run things when my turn came. Laura was supposed to find out about the demands of her new job on that day. Consequently, I was supposed to find out that day when (and how frequently) I'd be taking over the training duties. There was only one difficulty: Laura never showed up.

So, on Thursday, January 13th, I officially took over the position of trainer.

My first session was a little rocky, since I was now running the show when I'd only been planning to observe. But it turned out okay, and I discovered that most of my ideas worked pretty well. We have a skills test at the end of the training session, the point of which is to ensure that the new recruits A) can use the computer system well enough to do the job and B) have been paying attention during training. Four of the five people in attendance passed, which is pretty typical.

The actual training session is only one part of the job, though. There is also a lot of logistical stuff that needs to be done, both before and after the training. About an hour before the recruits show up, I'll check the schedule to see how many we're expecting. I pull their applications and get them entered into the computer. For this, I need to assign employee numbers to each of them and make sure they're active in both the electronic time card program that we use and in the interviewing program. I also make sure there are sufficient training materials available for everyone: manuals, pens, computers turned on in the training room, and so on.

After the training is over and people start completing their skill tests, I print out the results and grade them. Those who do not pass (which is pathetic, since the test is open-book) are thanked for their time and told that they can reapply in six months if they wish. Those who do pass are congratulated and offered a job. I give each of those who accept a big batch of paperwork to fill out. I collect and verify the paperwork for everyone once they've finished filling it out. I also make sure they've scheduled themselves for the appropriate number of hours and days. Then I confirm when their first day will be, thank them for coming, and wish them the best as they begin their employment. Their training experience is then over; my night still has a way to go.

We have five different policy forms that we have the new people read and sign, along with three government documents. We also have to take photocopies of their identification to verify their identity and eligibility to work in the U.S. Once all of this is obtained and verified, I create employee files and sort the various documents into what we keep at the call center and what goes to the main office downtown.

I then go into the computer system and delete their times for the night; since it is not a guarantee of employment, the training is non-paid. I put their schedule requests into Jason's in-box. Then I enter the ones who were hired into the employee database so that we can track their continued progress. Once all of this is done, I get to go home.

Last night was my third training session. I've pretty much got all the basics down. Now it's just a matter of refining my instructional technique and making the paperwork process more efficient.

So I have a very interesting work schedule now. On Tuesday nights I'm the shift manager. On Thursday nights and Saturday mornings I'm a quality assurance supervisor. And on Friday nights, I'm the trainer. I have become, in management terms, a sort of three-headed monster.

Stolen Tag

This is another music thing. I stole it from Inn of the Last Home.

Random 10:
I plugged all my popular music into WinAmp and put it on random play, and this is what came up.

1. One Is Never Too Old to Swing by Girls from Mars
2. Losing It by Rush
3. That Don't Impress Me Much by Shania Twain
4. Congo by Genesis
5. Nothin' You Can Do About It by Richard Marx
6. Words by Asia
7. Go Daddy-O by Big Bad Voodoo Daddy
8. Russians by Sting
9. Sparks from the Tempest by Kansas
10. That, That Is by Yes

1. What is the total number of music files on your computer?
Five thousand four hundred and four, not including Christmas music or spoken-word stuff (comedy routines, etc.).

2. The last CD you bought is:
The Girl in the Other Room by Diana Krall.

3. What is the last song you listened to before this message?
Ghost of Stephen Foster by Squirrel Nut Zippers.

4. Write down five songs you listen to a lot or that mean a lot to you:
Carry On Wayward Son by Kansas
Place in This World by Michael W. Smith
Subdivisions by Rush
All I Need is a Miracle by Mike + the Mechanics
...and, of course,
The Road Goes On by Toto.

5. Who are you going to pass this stick to (three persons and why)?
Derek, Curtis, and maybe Allen, because I know I'm going to enjoy the vast variety or responses I'll get from them.
Tag, boys. You're it.

Music Memoirs

This week's Top Five on Friday music meme question is here:

Top five bands that you think are underrated, and your favorite album by each.

5) Rocket Scientists
Of course you've never heard of them, unless you're a regular reader of this blog and/or a big fan of progressive rock. These guys are an indie-label neo-prog band out of southern California. Mark McCrite's vocals are at times Beatles-esque, and keyboardist Erik Norlander frequently provides synthesizer explosions of Wakemanian proportions.
Favorite Album: Although I think Earthbound has the best songwriting, it's currently out of print. So I'll recommend Oblivion Days, which is much more aggressive musically.

4) Rush
Is it possible for a band this big to be underrated? Yes, if you consider radio play. They get practically none, even on the classic rock stations. And if you should happen to hear them on the radio, it's almost always Tom Sawyer. Not only is this not the band's best song, it's not even the best song on that album. Would it kill you DJ's to play Subdivisions or Something for Nothing once in a while?
Favorite Album: Although 2112 and Moving Pictures both have well-deserved reputations, the album that really turned me on to this band was Roll the Bones.

3) "Weird Al" Yankovic
He's this generation's best musical satirist, and maybe the best ever. He parodies not only individual songs (Like a Surgeon, Eat It, Amish Paradise) but also artist styles (Everything You Know is Wrong, Wanna B Ur Lovr). Some of his parodies (Achey Breaky Song, Smells Like Nirvana) are better than the originals. And his polka medlies (Polkas on 45, Angry White Boy Polka, Bohemian Polka) are classic. But he's more than just a comedian or a rip-off artist. He's a gifted musician and arranger with an ear for a good hook and a finger that's been firmly on the pulse of pop culture for over two decades.
Favorite Album: Dare to Be Stupid

2) Mike + the Mechanics
When Genesis released Invisible Touch, some critics thought it sounded too much like Phil Collins' solo work. (That's because it did.) Mike Rutherford's side project never had that problem. The group built its own identity with hits like Silent Running, All I Need is a Miracle, and The Living Years. These songs are catchy and easily accessible, like most of their music. But catchy and accessible does not necessarily mean shallow. This group's songs, while not challenging to listen to, often have thought-provoking lyrics and subtle musical textures that set the group apart from typical adult contemporary fare.
Favorite Album: Beggar on a Beach of Gold

1) Toto
Most people only know this band, if at all, from hits like Rosanna, Africa, and possibly Hold the Line. Knowing only these songs, one might get the impression that Toto was one of those sugar-coated pop bands that flashed and then died out in the 80's. One would be wrong. Most of this group's best work never made it to the radio. (What's new?) These guys were/are extremely talented rock musicians who can turn up the energy when the occasion calls for it. They're also extremely versatile and frequently-used studio musicians. Remember Beat It? Other than Michael Jackson on vocals and Eddie Van Halen on solo guitar, most of the rest of the musicians on that song were Toto. If the only albums you've ever heard from this band are Toto IV, The Seventh One, and/or Past to Present, you're missing out. Grab a copy of Hydra or Kingdom of Desire, if you can find one - that should change your outlook.
Favorite Album: Isolation.

I'll Take Friday's Feast for $1000, Alex.

Friday's Feast, 28 January 2005

Appetizer If you could have a free subscription to any magazine, which one would you like to have?
I had a subscription to Popular Science for a couple of years, and I really enjoyed it. (National Geographic would be cool, too.)

Soup If you were suddenly to become famous, what would you choose as your stage name?
If I ever did become famous, it'd probably be as part of a group rather than on my own. I've long thought that "Bleak December" would be a good name for a band, although Tiffany has recently had me thinking about the name "Breakfast Rorschach Test".

Salad What ingredients make an awesome salad? Dressing? Croutons?
The best salads of which I am a currently aware are those at Cafe Rio here in Salt Lake City. I am partial to the BBQ pork salad with black beans, rice, sour cream, and tortilla strips. This salad doesn't really need dressing, but the chipotle ranch is good.
On 'normal' salads, I like cherry tomatoes, carrot slivers, and a little ham or grilled chicken, but not radishes. Honey mustard dressing and croutons are also appreciated.

Main Course What do you like most about your current job?
I like the fact that as the new trainer for the company (I'll blog about that later), I have the chance to help our new 'recruits' to get off on the right foot.

Dessert Who is your favorite instrumental musician (not a singer)?
Vangelis, the man who wrote the soundtracks for Chariots of Fire and Blade Runner. He's one of the inventors of the ambient electronic music genre. I was first introduced to his work in the soundtrack for Carl Sagan's Cosmos miniseries, and I've loved it ever since. If you can get hold of a copy of his score for 1492: Conquest of Paradise, give it a listen. It's beautiful.

The Lone Ranger Strikes Out

This semester, I have the last chemistry lab I have to take before graduating: Analytical Chemistry. This branch of the science consists of two basic areas, which are qualitative analysis ("Does this sample contain chemical A?") and quantitative analysis ("How much of chemical A does this sample contain?"). Quantitative analysis is the more useful and more commonly used of the two, and in practical terms, the more difficult to perform. In some cases, you're looking for something in terms of parts per million, or less.

My class is something of a crash course in the discipline. We perform six experiments in six weeks, three of which require journal-style lab reports. This week's experiment promised to be interesting. It has been speculated in recent years that a link exists between ingested aluminum and Alzheimer's Disease. The purpose of this week's lab was to simulate the effects of cooking with aluminum pots and pans. We were to 'cook' a weak citric acid solution (similar in pH to many fruits and vegetables) in an aluminum pot for an hour, and then determine how much aluminum had been absorbed.

The procedure for all of this was a little involved. In addition to obtaining an aluminum sample from the cookware, we would also create solutions with known aluminum concentrations ranging from 10 to 100 parts per billion for comparison. We would then take each of these samples - five standards of known concentration, the sample from the pan, and an unknown provided by our TA's - and run them through a device called a spectrofluorophotometer. When compounds containing aluminum ions are mixed with a chemical called 8-hydroxyquinoline (8-HQ) in chloroform, the resulting metal ion complex becomes fluorescent when exposed to light of a certain wavelength. The higher the aluminum concentration is, the stronger the fluorescent effect is. The results from the known standards would be used to construct a calibration curve. We would then test the pan sample and the provided unknown to determine the amount of aluminum present in each. Piece of cake.

So I arrived a few minutes early to lab on Monday to begin boiling our sample and making our standards. My lab partner wasn't there yet, but since I was early, I wasn't concerned. I chatted a little with the other students as I got the necessary labware together - ten 100 ml volumetric flasks, 1 ml and 10 ml volumetric pipets, that sort of thing. About fifteen minutes after the lab period has started, my lab partner showed up and informed me that his class load was too heavy, so he had dropped the class. So I'm flying solo now, not only for this experiment, but most likely for the whole semester.

Preparing the standard solutions took almost all the lab period (12:55-5:00 p.m.) on Monday. I came to the lab today, made up the 8-HQ/chloroform solution, and began extracting the aluminum from the various samples I'd already prepared. Once the extractions were complete (about 10 minutes for each of the seven samples), I had the TA turn on the instrument - we never refer to it as a 'machine' - and got ready to run the tests.

It was a spectacular failure. My results looked like I'd pulled them at random out of the air. There was no correlation between the nominal concentrations of the solutions I'd prepared and the readings I obtained from the photometer. The TA checked to see that everything was set up properly, and it was. I ran the tests a second time, and got the same results. How exasperating! The TA was baffled; he said things had worked just fine when he had run the experiment, but he acknowledged that the extraction process "could make things dicey". He said he'd try it again over the weekend to see what kind of results he got. I asked him, with just a touch of frustration in my voice, what I could even do with numbers like the ones I'd generated. His suggestion was to talk to him again on Monday.

Great. The lab report's due on Wednesday.

Feast Meets West

Friday's Feast

Appetizer What is one quality you really admire about yourself?
That would be my overwhelming humility. (Ha!) No, seriously, it's my loyalty to those who are important to me. Nobody messes with my family and friends. Nobody.

Soup What kind of shampoo and conditioner do you use?
Conditioner? Are you serious? My hair is a centimeter long at most. Why would I need conditioner?
As for shampoo, I usually use Suave, because it's the cheapest.

Salad Describe your favorite movie scene. You know, the one that just gets to you every time you watch it.
  IM: You are using Bonetti's defense against me, eh?
  DPR: I thought it fitting, considering the rocky terrain.
  IM: Naturally you must expect to attack with Capo Ferro.
  DPR: Naturally. But I find that Thibault cancels out Capo Ferro, don't you?
  IM: Unless you enemy has studied his Agrippa - which I have.
Actually, it could be pretty much any scene from that movie.^¤

Main Course If you were a veggie, which one would you be, and why?
I'd probably be a potato. Nothing fancy, but substantial. And I dress up nicely, too.

Dessert If you could take a weekend trip within 100 miles of your current residence, where would you like to go?
It'd be cool to spend a day in Ogden with the gang, but I think they all work weekends.


{Friday's Feast, 21 January 2005}

--
^¤What do you mean, you don't know what movie that is? Inconceivable!

Along the Same Lines

You scored as Ravenclaw. You have been sorted into Ravenclaw- you value intelligence, and love the chance to use your cleverness (and maybe even show it off - just a little). You're keen and incisive, and you just love a challenging problem to solve. Ravenclaw 80% Hufflepuff 75% Gryffindor 60% Slytherin 35% The Hogwarts Sorting Hat! created with QuizFarm.com

::muttering:: Please, not Slytherin, anything but Slytherin!

Howlin' at the Moon

You scored as Remus Lupin. You are a wise and caring wizard and a good, loyal friend to boot. However sometimes in an effort to be liked by others you can let things slide by, which ordinarily you would protest about. Remus Lupin 95% Ron Weasley 85% Draco Malfoy 80% Hermione Granger 75% Severus Snape 75% Harry Potter 70% Sirius Black 65% Albus Dumbledore 60% Ginny Weasley 60% Lord Voldemort 25% Your Harry Potter Alter Ego Is...? created with QuizFarm.com

Okay, I can live with Lupin. But 80% Draco? 75% Snape? WTH is that all about?

Murphy's Law(s)

Everyone's probably familiar with Murphy's Law: If anything can go wrong, it will. But true Murphyism goes far beyond this, both in depth and in specificity.

When I was in high school, I owned a set of three "Murphy's Law" books authored and/or edited by Arthur Bloch. As I was wandering around Amazon a couple of weeks ago, I found that all three books had been republished in a single volume. Naturally, I had to have it.

I've been reading this tome over the last several days, and I've rediscovered many bits of wisdom I had come to treasure all those years ago. Here, for your reading pleasure, are a few of my favorites.^‡ Enjoy, and apply as occasions may require.

Gumperson's Law:
The probability of anything happening is in inverse ratio to its desirability.

O'Brien's Observation:
The quickest way to find something is to start looking for something else.

Grossman's misquote of H.L. Mencken:
Complex problems have simple, easy-to-understand wrong answers.

Issawi's Law of the Path of Progress:
A shortcut is the longest distance between two points.

Stockmayer's Theorem:
If it looks easy, it's tough.
If it looks tough, it's damn well impossible.

Law of Probable Dispersal:
Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

Commoner's Law of Ecology:
Nothing ever goes away.

Coit-Murphy's Statement on the Power of Negative Thinking:
It is impossible for an optimist to be pleasantly surprised.

Meskimen's Law:
There's never time to do it right, but there's always time to do it over.

Schopenhauer's Law of Entropy:
If you put a spoonful of wine in a barrel full of sewage, you get sewage.
If you put a spoonful of sewage in a barrel full of wine, you get sewage.

Baruch's Observation:
If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

The Roman Rule:
The one who says it cannot be done should never interrupt the one doing it.

Patton's Law:
A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.

White's Statement:
Don't lose heart.
 Owen's Commentary on White's Statement:
 They might want to cut it out.
  Byrd's Addition to Owen's Commentary on White's Statement:
  And they want to avoid a lengthy search.

Fox on Levelology:
What will get you promoted on one level will get you killed on another.

Whistler's Law:
You never know who's right, but you always know who's in charge.

Curtois' Rule:
If people listened to themselves more often, they would talk less.

Iles' Law:
There is always an easier way to do it.
 Corollaries:
  1.When looking directly at the easier way, especially for long periods, you will not see it.
  2. Neither will Iles.

First Law of Debate:
Never argue with a fool - people might not know the difference.

The Rule of Law:
If the facts are against you, argue the law.
If the law is against you, argue the facts.
If the facts and the law are against you, yell like hell.

The Fifth Rule of Politics:
When a politician gets an idea, he usually gets it wrong.

Simon's Law of Destiny:
Glory may be fleeting, but obscurity is forever.

De Nevers' Law of Debate:
Two monologues do not make a dialogue.

Van Roy's First Law:
If you can distinguish between good advice and bad advice, then you don't need advice.

Wethern's Law of Suspended Judgment:
Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups.

Shirley's Law:
Most people deserve each other.

Canada Bill Jones' Motto:
It's morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.

Todd's Law:
All things being equal, you lose.
 Corollary:
  All things being in your favor, you still lose.

Jensen's Law:
Win or lose, you lose.

Lieberman's Law:
Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.

Law of the Lie:
No matter how often a lie is shown to be false, there will remain a percentage of people who believe it true.

The Eleventh Commandment:
Thou shalt not committee.

Cole's Law:
Thinly sliced cabbage.

Maah's Law:
Things go right so they can go wrong.

Silverman's Paradox:
If Murphy's Law can go wrong, it will.

Nagler's Comment on the Origin of Murphy's Law:
Murphy's Law was not propounded by Murphy, but by another man of the same name.

--
^‡All quotations taken from:
Bloch, A. The Complete Murphy's Law: A Definitive Collection; Price Stern Sloan: Los Angeles, CA, 1991.

Much Too Much: Two

I had a little time after class on Friday to take the Dreadnought to a transmission shop and have them look at it. The prognosis is not good. The shop manager told me that the tranny shifted very roughly from second to third, which I already knew, and wouldn't go into fourth gear at all, which I also already knew. Then came the real news. They took the pan off and found metal fragments in it. This is indicative of physical damage to one or more bands, which I half expected but didn't know for sure. Now I do. In the words of Bob Seger, I wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then.

The store manager told me that they would have to rebuild the transmission, which would run me about $1400. That's assuming that the torque converter was sound. If they had to replace that, that's another $400 or so. In other words, it would cost almost as much to fix the transmission as was spent to buy the car in the first place. But without the repair, all I've got is a large lawn ornament.

I was talking to a few of the folks at work about my predicament, and they asked how much it was going to cost to fix it. I told them that I'd been quoted between $1400 and $1800. They told me, in not so many words, that only a complete idiot would pay that much. One of the guys told me that he'd had a rebuild done on the transmission of his Chevy pickup - the exact same transmission, apparently - and paid only $700 for it. Granted, it was a friend of his family who had done it, but the point was made. There were better deals out there to be had. So I made it a point today to call a half-dozen or so transmission shops and got quotes ranging from $1054 to $1326.

Now, I'll be the first to admit that I'm not exactly a mechanical genius. I can't tell a torque converter from an EPS manifold.^* But my math skills aren't too bad. Given a choice between $1045 and $1400 or $1045 and $1800, I can pick the right option every time.

Now I just have to get the Dreadnought out of the current drydock and back to my house, which I should be able to accomplish tomorrow morning with the help of the fine folks at AAA. I also have to arrange for financing through the First National Bank of Mom and Dad. I'm gonna owe them so much money when this is all done. But the interest rates are quite reasonable. And if I do ever manage to reproduce successfully, I know I'll end up doing the same for my kids one day. It's the circle of life.

--
^*Except that I know that an EPS manifold is something you find on or around a warp drive, so my car is not likely to have one of those.

Ludwig von Feasthoven

Friday's Feast

Appetizer If you could have a free subscription to any online service, which would you like to have?
It would be nice if the free Internet access (dial-up) that I get with my tuition included broadband.

Soup Describe your bathroom (furnishings, colors, etc.).
The walls are inexplicably tiled in muted pistachio-pudding green and bordered by pink. The floor has a green and two-toned pink tile pattern. The fixtures, upper walls, and ceiling, thankfully, are flat white.

Salad What does the shape of a triangle make you think of?
As part of my homework the other night, I had to use vector operations to prove that for any triangle, a line segment joining the midpoints of any two sides would be parallel to the third side.

Main Course Name 3 things or activities that you consider to be luxuries.
1) A full tank of gas for the Dreadnought - a 35-gallon tank at about $1.80 a gallon. You do the math.
2) Oreo cookies - this is not a luxury so much as an occasional guilty pleasure, I guess.
3) Sleeping in past 6:30 am - just not going to happen anytime soon. Ask me again in May.

Dessert What was the last really great movie you watched?
Last Saturday night's viewing of The Incredibles - both for the movie (about which I've raved before, and for the company.

{Friday's Feast, 14 January 2005}

It's the End of the World As We Know It

I saw two interesting items on Yahoo News last night.

One was that France wants better relations with the U.S.

The other was that Major League Baseball players and owners have come to an agreement on tougher steroid tests.

If these aren't signs of the Apocalypse, I don't know what are. What's next, liberals and conservatives agreeing to an end to gratuitous name-calling?

Much Too Much

Well, I got my financial aid residual today, and I rushed to the book$tore to buy textbooks for the new semester. I underestimated the cost just a bit in my earlier post. The three books I need totaled $380, including tax. What the heck, it's only money.

The best value: Physical Chemistry: A Molecular Approach by McQuarrie and Simon. It weighs in at 1360 pages at a cost of $105.60, or about 7.8¢ per page. That's cheaper than I could photocopy it. And I get to use the book for two semesters, which is an added bonus.

The worst value: Biochemistry by Berg, Tymoczko, and Stryer. This bad boy cost $144.00 for around 1000 pages, including appendices. This makes it almost twice as expensive per page (14¢) than the book above, and I only get to use it for one semester. Those of you who have followed this blog closely know that I'm retaking BioChem this semester. And since the class is being taught by the Biology department this time around, this book is not the same one that was used last semester. That's the real kicker.

The most annoying: Principles of Instrumental Analysis by Skoog, Holler, and Nieman. This book ran me $107.50 - used. This book has only (only?) about 900 pages, which works out to around 12¢ per page. And if that wasn't bad enough, I only get to use this one for half of the semester. To my mind, that effectively doubles the cost. But the book will help me to study for the senior comp exams, and it's probably worth the cost of admission for that.

Given time, I could have bought these three books on Amazon.com for around $252.00. I suppose I still could have done so today, but then I'd have to wait a week or two for them to arrive. In the grand scheme of things, it's probably worth the extra $128.00 (yikes!) to have them here now. Sometimes, time is more precious than money.

Okay, I suppose I should stop complaining about the books now and start reading them. And then there's math homework to be done. No rest for the weary.

Once More Unto the Breach

Today was the beginning of a new semester for me. I have four classes this time around, and I had three of them today.

The day started with math at 8:35. The professor let us know that we're going to have homework due at the beginning of every class period, typically about 10-15 problems. Yes, it's time-consuming (I've spent about 90 minutes on the first one this evening), but there's really no other way to learn the material than by doing it. I ended up sitting next to a guy who's recovering from a difficult semester, too. He spent a lot of last semester at home with this wife, who was recovering from severe post-partum depression. He's retaking BioChem, too. I have a feeling we're going to be something of a mutual support group.

Thermodynamics was next at 9:40. In his introduction of himself to the class, the professor showed us a little of his family tree. The chemistry building is named after his father, and his brother's a Mormon Apostle. The professor's a nice enough guy, but the material is a bear. I'm going to have to dig up my old GenChem book and review the chapters on thermodynamics, I think.

Then it was off to BioChem at 10:45. The class is taught by the biology department in the spring, so I found myself in the biology building's largest lecture hall, taking notes with two hundred and fifty of my closest friends. The professor told us that he was going to teach the metabolism section, which covers about half the semester, while two other professors would share the rest of the time on other topics. I heard one of my classmates make a semi-covert comment about the "three-headed biology monster". No, Derek, I don't think it has anything to do with your music.

Then I made my way to the student services building (there's a contradiction in terms) to find out if my appeal had been decided upon and if I could realistically plan on staying in school for the whole semester. The line was dreadfully long, so I went to the union building and got a bite to eat. When I came back the line was a little shorter, i.e., not quite as long as the line to ride Space Mountain. So I got in it and waited. And my waiting was not in vain. The financial aid gurus had decided that it was okay for me to rack up a few thousand more dollars in student loans in the name of continuing education. So I'm in.

From there I went to the bookstore. I normally avoid the place, especially when it comes to buying textbooks. I've done a little tracking, and I typically save around 30-35% by buying my books at Amazon. But with the funding situation so uncertain, I decided to hold off buying books until I was sure I would need them. Unfortunately, that means that I can't afford to wait two to three weeks for textbooks now, so I'm going to have to use the book$tore. I need three books for this semester, one of which I'll use for about six weeks. They're going to run me about $350 total. Ish. I'm in the wrong line of work.

Tomorrow marks the start of my fourth and final class, an advanced lab. It requires three hours of class time and eight hours of lab time per week, but only for the first half of the semester. I'll be writing five ACS-style lab reports for this class between now and the third of March. After that, I can relax and concentrate on the other three classes.

And that will wrap it up for today. I anticipate a soothing night of R.E.M. filled with vector operations. To sleep, perchance to dream....

Picking Nits

Okay, I know this is pretty trivial. But if I hear one more television news 'science specialist' talking about the 'tidal wave' that hit southern Asia, I'm going to go mad.

I know that most people probably don't know that there's a difference between a tidal wave and a tsunami, and probably don't care. The distinction certainly doesn't matter if you or someone you know has been caught in one. The loss is not changed by nomenclature.

But reporters should be able to know and to deliver the facts, especially if their station or network is calling them 'science specialists'.

A tidal wave is not the same as a tsunami. A tidal wave is caused by the moon's gravitational attraction on the earth's oceans - just like the tides are. A tsunami is a different, larger, and rarer type of ocean wave caused by seismic activity. Large tidal waves can damage miles of coastline. Tsunamis can damage multiple continents.

Either way, it's tragic. But if you're going to report the news, try to get the facts straight if it's not too much trouble.

Okay, I'm done now.

Guilty Pleasures

This little meme is from The Music Memoirs by way of Welcome to the pond.

Top Five Albums People Wouldn't Believe You Own (Guilty Pleasures)
Here's my list. Please note that I have included only music that I actually own, and not music that I've, uh, borrowed from friends.

1. ABBA Gold (ABBA)
Yes, I know that this is disco. And unlike a lot of current fans of the genre, I was actually alive when it was popular. Disco, on the whole, is garbage, but I love this group's work. It's unapologetically bright, upbeat, and cheerful - even the sad songs. There have been a lot of covers/remakes of ABBA songs over the years, and nobody has managed to do them justice.

2. Das Lied von der Erde (Gustav Mahler)
A particularly bright musicologist once wrote: "Either you like Wagner's music or you don't. For some people, Wagnerian opera represents the highest form of art as a synthesis of music and drama. For others, it's just fat people shouting at each other in German for what seems like eternity."¹ This is also a pretty good description of Mahler's choral work. I mainly bought this CD just to be able to say that I owned it. I don't know that it can be called a 'Guilty Pleasure', because I don't think I've ever made it through the entire piece in one sitting.

3. Fallen (Evanescence)
This is a little harsher than most of the music I normally listen to, but there are times when loud, mind-numbing guitars and Amy Lee's haunting vocals are just what I need to hear. [This entry would probably be supplanted by After Forever's "Prison of Desire", if I could find it at a price I was willing to pay.]

4. Kenny G Live (Kenny G)
Yes, the music is campy and full of fluff, even for Easy Listening / Smooth Jazz. But this album has sentimental value for me. I first heard it on my mission, and I came to love it. What can I say?

5. High Country Snows (Dan Fogelberg)
What? Fogelberg did a bluegrass album? Are you serious? Yes, and it's a pretty good piece of work. He got a lot of very talented studio musicians to play on the album, and his voice is well-suited to the kind of stories-in-song that the genre features.

So that's my list. I'd be interested to see what some of my fellow bloggers may reluctantly admit to having in their collections.

--

¹ Barber, David W. Bach, Beethoven, and the Boys: Music History as It Ought to Be Taught; Sound and Vision: Toronto, ON, 1986; p 84.

Following Curtis and Derek off the bridge....

you are seagreen #2E8B57

Your dominant hues are cyan and green. Although you definately strive to be logical you care about people and know there's a time and place for thinking emotionally. Your head rules most things but your heart rules others, and getting them to meet in the middle takes a lot of your energy some days. Your saturation level is higher than average - You know what you want, but sometimes know not to tell everyone. You value accomplishments and know you can get the job done, so don't be afraid to run out and make things happen. Your outlook on life can be bright or dark, depending on the situation. You are flexible and see things objectively.

the spacefem.com html color quiz

Well, what did you expect?

I was directed to this story today by Fark.com:

Teen thwarts attempt to rob tsunami aid

In my humble opinion, if you try to steal tsunami relief money from a community fundraiser and get smacked down by a 14-year-old girl, you probably had it coming.

Nice job, young lady.

First Feast

Friday's Feast

Appetizer Have you been sick yet this winter? If so, what did you come down with?
I've already gone two (or was it three?) rounds with the sore throat / congestion / loss of energy crud I get every winter.

Soup What colors dominate your closet?
Like any good Mormon boy, I have a couple of white shirts in there. But most of my clothes are dark and/or muted colors: black, forest green, grey, navy blue, etc.

Salad How would you describe your personal "comfort zone"?
It's the place I like to visit when I don't like where I am. But the longer I stay there, the better it feels when I leave.

Main Course On which reality show would you really like to be a contestant?
Reality shows suck rocks, IMHO. I consider them the modern-day equivalent of Rome's "Bread and Circuses". There's not enough money in all the world to entice me to be a contestant on any of them. Now a host, on the other hand....

Dessert Which holiday would you consider to be your favorite?
I don't know if it's my favorite, but I hold a special place in my heart for April Fools' Day. (Two words: Christmas cards.)

{Friday's Feast, 7 January 2005}

A Day in the Life

It's snowing today in Salt Lake City. It snowed pretty much all day yesterday, and it's supposed to snow most of the day today. Good. I like the snow, and we can use the precipitation.

While watching the news yesterday morning, I was amazed at how many accidents and slide-offs were reported. Is it possible that people who live in an area that gets snow every winter just 'forget' how to drive in the snow when the weather is good? Inconceivable.

--

I know that in the grand scheme of things, college football is relatively unimportant. But I'm a fan of the sport, and the BC$ is a pet peeve of mine. If the goal, as stated, is to produce an undisputed college football national championship, the current system doesn't work very well. In its current form, it never will. But that's okay, because a legitimate national championship is not really the goal. Dan Wetzel of Yahoo! Sports had this to say in his editorial today:

The reason [Bowl Championship Series commissioner Kevin] Weiberg has not seen a reasonable playoff structure is because there is none that allows the six "major" conferences the power and control they currently enjoy. Yes, a 16-team playoff system, similar to the ones used in all other levels of college football, would increase the money pie. But the BCS guys would have to cut more slices and, most importantly, give up control of the knife.

If the goal is to make a lot of money and keep most of it in the five major conferences (the Big East doesn't count any more), then the current bowl system, including the BC$, works just fine. But if the goal is to create an accurate and fair national championship, then a playoff system is the way to go. And that's not going to happen.

I read once that there are two things you have to keep in mind when you hear people talking politics. First, no matter what they're telling you, they're not telling you the whole truth. And second, no matter what they're talking about, they're talking about money. The same seems to hold true in the big-money world of college football - especially if they're talking about a national championship.

--

I have a . . . what's that word again? Oh yeah, 'date'. I have a date on Saturday night - my first in a very long time. I should be a little nervous, considering that even when I was in practice, I was never exactly a 'dating machine' (except in the sense that the Edsel was a 'driving machine'). But I'm not nervous. I'm pretty excited, actually.

--

For the last six weeks or so, I've been trying to get into an advanced chemistry lab that I need in order to graduate. It's only offered during spring semester, and there are only 24 seats in the class: twelve each in two sections, only one of which fits my new work schedule. Every time I've checked it, both sections have been full. The new semester starts on Monday, and I still can't get into that one class.

I got online to print my class schedule his morning, and decided, just for kicks, to check on that chemistry class. Lo and behold, one seat had opened up, and it was in the section that I needed. I grabbed it. My registration is now complete. I feel so fulfilled now. I just hope the financial aid people will let me keep going to class.

--

Off I go, out into the falling whiteness. I'm making a scouting trip to campus to identify the rooms where my classes will be held. I'm also going to stop by Financial Aid and see what they can tell me. Then I'm headed downtown to the courthouse to pick up the final documents from the legal proceedings. (It's not their policy to mail them.) Maybe I'll follow that up with a quick trip down to Workforce Services to see if there's anything interesting available. Then it's off to work.

Crystal Ball

The year 2005 is now upon us - a clean slate, an empty book in which to write the story of our continuing lives. It is appropriate, I think, that we celebrate the winter solstice, Christmas, and the new year all at this time of year. All of them signify rebirth, new life, and a chance to make a fresh start.

I don't generally make New Year's resolutions. I usually check the course of my progress in April and October. But I have thought about what the new year might hold in store, and some of what I would like the new year to bring. Here, in no particular order, is my list of:

Things I'd Like to See in 2005

• A diploma in December
  
• An end to the drought in Utah
  
• Less political whining / grandstanding and more problem-solving
  
• The Utes beat Pitt in the Fiesta Bowl
  
• An increase my savings account balance
  
• Derek and Kathleen's child
  
• Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
  
• Cars (although IMDb projects the release date as 2006)
  
• New studio CDs from Kansas, Yes, Toto, and/or the Rocket Scientists (and please, no more cover collections)
  
• Some sort of resolution to the situation in Iraq
  
• Governor-elect Huntsman paying as much attention to education as Governor Walker has
  
• An end to the NHL lockout - come on, guys, I'm having withdrawal symptoms here!
  
• Osama bin Laden being pulled out of a spider hole
  
• Curtis and the Ogden gaming consortium on something like a weekly basis
  
• Pony, Montana
  
• National Guard units reassigned from combat duty in Iraq to disaster relief in southern Asia - that's what these folks are trained for
  
• Sam in a tuxedo
  
• Harry Potter not acting like a complete idiot in the next book
  
• All of my family in the same room at Christmas
  

How much of this will actually happen? I haven't a clue. Finding out is half the fun.

Happy New Year, everyone!