All Now Mysterious...

Friday, September 30, 2005

Meme^2

Part I: Friday's Feast
Friday's Feast, 30 September 2005.

Appetizer When was the last time you visited a hospital?
My Home Teaching companion and I went to visit one of our people in the hospital a couple of months ago. Actually, it's probably been longer than that, since he's already had surgery again.

Soup On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being highest, how ambitious are you?
I don't know, six, maybe seven. I'm just not turned on by the whole 'rat race' mentality.

Salad Make a sentence using the letters of a body part. (Example: (mouth) My other ukelele tings healthily.)
Some People's Languishing Eccentricities Exceed Normality. (And to think, I was going to go with 'esophagus'.)

Main Course If you were to start a club, what would the subject matter be, and what would you name it?
I'd start a club for those in my area who appreciate comic books and all things superheroic. I'd call it the Northern Utah Team of Superheroes (or N.U.T.S.).

Dessert What color is the carpet/flooring in your home?
It's somewhere between greyish-tan and tannish-grey. Blah.


Part II: Top Five on Friday
Top Five on Friday from The Music Memoirs:

Top Five "Acoustic" songs
I'm taking "acoustic" to mean "without prominent electrical instruments". Here goes:

Masquerade by Steve Howe (Yes)

Eleanor Rigby by The Beatles

Backslider Blues by Jason Boland and the Stragglers

Nobody Knows You When You're Down and Out by Eric Clapton

Possession by Sarah McLachlan (the ghost track at the end of "Fumbling Towards Ecstasy")

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Disease-Free for Nearly 24 Hours!

With a little substantial amount of help from Allen, my computer was finally disinfected last night. He brought me some security software that I installed and ran. He also did some 'Net searching and found out how to fix my registry. So the computer now works quite well—or at least as well as it ever has.

For the curious, this is what now protects my computer:
Ad-Aware
AVG Free
Spybot Search & Destroy
Zone Alarm

It's nice having such a selection of virus/spyware scanners available, and this is the first time I've ever had a firewall. Many thanks, Rev!

Saturday, September 24, 2005

Welcome to the Third Law of Thermodynamics and the Wonderful World of Entropy

My Thermo professor was apparently indisposed yesterday, so we had a guest lecturer. The title above is how he introduced the subject of the day's lesson. We learned all about entropy, including how to calculate it. Science is fascinating. For example, it's interesting to me that if you know a few easily measurable quantities, it is possible to calculate the exact amount of entropy (or disorder) in a system. That's right, the exact amount of disorder. Is it just me, or does that sound like a contradiction in terms?

--

I had two exams this past week: Inorganic on Monday, and Thermo on Wednesday. I got the Inorganic exam back yesterday, and I was pleased to find a note of encouragement from the professor on the front: "Keep it up!" I was about 11 points above the class average, which puts me in the high B range. I'm content with that - which is not to say that I won't try to do better next time, of course.

The Thermo exam was a little discouraging. Don't get me wrong, I felt pretty good about what I was able to do. The exam consisted of two parts, a closed book section and an open book section. The closed book section consisted of 13 short answer / fill-in-the-blank questions. I got through that pretty quickly, turned it in, and moved on the open book section. This part consisted of five problems, all of which I felt pretty comfortable in working. So I'm wrapping up the fourth problem when I hear the professor say, "The bell is going to ring in about one minute, and I'll start collecting the exams in about four minutes." Carp. I got basically nothing done on problem five. Lesson: while I'm apparently not entirely ignorant of the principles of Thermodynamics, I need more practice with problem solving so I can do the math quicker. I expect that we'll get the exams back next Wednesday.

And I found out yesterday that the first exam in my other class, Quantum Mechanics, is being moved up two days. Monday exams make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Okay, maybe not so much. Oh well, this will no longer be an issue in three months.

--

We had a weird case of road rage in Utah this weekend. Some woman, probably high on drugs, was driving a stolen car onto I-15 early Friday morning. A man in another car on the ramp saw her, and that's when the fun began. She started driving aggressively, and somewhere on the freeway, she rolled down her window and yelled at him. He responded by showing her the Utah Highway Peace Sign. Her response was to pull out a .357-caliber revolver and shoot at him four times. And wouldn't you know, one of the four shots took off the tip of his extended middle finger. What is the moral of this story...?

--

I got two new pairs of shoes yesterday. I had budgeted about $40 for shoes, presumably one good pair. I was driving in the general direction of the local Shop-Ko when I spotted a Big 5 Sporting Goods store. I'd never been there, but I'd seen a lot of their ads, and it seemed like they always had shoes on sale. So I went in. I found a pair of Coleman hiking shoes, normally $59.99, and a pair of white Spalding high-tops, normally $49.99. Both pairs were on sale for $19.99. Score! I'm wearing the Colemans now, and they're very comfortable. Next clothing purchases: a white dress shirt, some dress pants, and a couple of polo shirts.

--

Ever heard of a group called Explorers Club? For most readers, the answer is probably "No". Which is too bad. Explorers Club is (are?) a loose gathering of musicians from various progressive bands. The 'group' exists in two incarnations. The first made a CD called "Age of Impact", followed several years later by a different lineup that produced "Raising the Mammoth". While I've never heard the second CD - and based on the lineup and the reviews I've read, I'm in no particular hurry to - I've had "Age of Impact" in borrowed (.mp3) form for more than a year. I was listening to it again the other night, and I thought, "I like this enough that I should just buy it." So I did. I found a like-new copy on Amazon (my favorite music store!) for $4.49. I should have it by the end of the week. I loved this comment from one of the reviews: "If you like good Progressive Rock, you're going to love Age of Impact. Though it consists of only five songs, in true prog-rock tradition they average over ten and a half minutes."

--

The Colorado Rockies just stink. This is not exactly a state secret; they have the worst record in the National League. What makes it bad is how they manage to lose so many games. Take last night, for example. The San Francisco Giants were in town, and starter Jeff Francis was having a pretty decent game. He had given up only two runs, had kept 'Steroid Barry' from hitting a home run for the first time in four games, and had actually received decent run support. He left the game after six strong innings with a 6-2 lead. Enter the Rockies bullpen - also known as the Rocky Horror Pitching Show. Led by pitcher Mike DeJean (who was no good the last time he played for the Rocks, either), the bullpen gave up five runs in the 8th inning, and Colorado lost the game 7-6. There are some teams that always seem to find ways to win. This is not one of them. Nobody can snatch defeat from the very jaws of victory quite like the Rockies can. Oh well, there's always next year....

--

More fun and games at work today. We had fourteen interviewers scheduled for today's shift, of whom ten showed up (plus three that weren't scheduled), one resigned, and three no-showed. We put in calls to those three; two had disconnected numbers, and we left a message for the third. Many hours later, the third called back and said that he had scheduled the day off a couple of weeks ago. So I went to his file, and sure enough, he had. The supervisor who updates the schedule had filed the request appropriately but had forgotten to note it in the computer. This isn't a really big deal, except that she's doing little things like this all the time. One day, she's got to learn the right way to do things. I'm thinking that day may be Tuesday, the next day that I'm scheduled. We'll see.

--

That's enough for now, I guess. Have a great week, everyone!

Friday, September 23, 2005

Meme × 2

Part I: Friday's Feast
Friday's Feast, 23 September 2005.

Appetizer Name something someone has done lately that impressed you.
My great aunt had her 90th birthday party last week. Reaching 90 years old is pretty impressive, I'd say.

Soup Do you have any relaxing rituals? If so, what are they?
Sometimes I'll lie on the floor with my feet up on a chair, so that my hips and my knees both bend at a 90º angle. It helps to relax my lower back.

Salad If you could spend the winter season somewhere other than your current location, where would you choose to stay?
I'd like to spend part of it in a cabin somewhere in the mountains of Colorado—someplace isolated enough so that I could really enjoy the peace and quiet of the wilderness, but close enough that I could get back to civilization when I was craving a burger and a movie.

Main Course When was the last time you had dinner out, and what was the name of the restaurant?
Mom took Nancy and me out to dinner last Saturday at Cafe Rio. Good stuff. I recommend the BBQ pork salad, and the burritos are really good, too. In both cases, get the black beans instead of pinto beans.

Dessert If you had a boat, what would you name it?
I already have one, and I call it The Dreadnought. Oh, you mean an actual float-on-the-water type of boat? Hmmm. Maybe I'd name that Dreadnought as well.


Part II: Top Five on Friday
Top Five on Friday from The Music Memoirs:

Top 5 "Fall" Songs
(As always, interpret as you see fit.)

The Next Time I Fall by Peter Cetera and Amy Grant

Before (The Next Heartache Falls) by Mike + the Mechanics

Let's Just Fall by Reckless Kelly

The Fall of Icarus by Rocket Scientists

Finally, although this is a different interpretation, I know the moderator will be disappointed if I don't include this one:

Forever Autumn by Justin Hayward

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Quote of the Day

"Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first."
- Ronald Reagan

(By the way, Blogger tells me this is my 300th post. Huzzah for me!)

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Tuesday Music Meme Thing

Take Me Back Tuesday from The Music Memoirs

I think this week, we'll get a little mellower after last week's little drama. I'm feeling bluesy.

1. Name three blues, swing, or big band songs.
1. "You're the Boss" by the Brian Setzer Orchestra with Gwen Stefani
2. "Zip Gun Bop" by Royal Crown Revue
3. "Take Five" by the Dave Brubeck Quartet

2. Name three blues, swing, or big band artists.
1. Glenn Miller
2. Big Bad Voodoo Daddy
3. Squirrel Nut Zippers

3. Name three blues, swing, or big band albums.
For this one, I'm going to go with three movie soundtracks:
1. The Mask
2. Ocean's Eleven
3. Catch Me If You Can

Sunday Comics

"Hi. I'm Jake. I'm a junior in high school. I can barely do simple math.

I think George Washington fought the civil war in 1942, and that Herman Melville is a type of cheese.

I think "Homer" is Bart's dad, and that the three branches of government are Diversity, Tolerance, and ... um ... Diversity.

Some people are worried that my textbooks might mention "Intelligent Design" along with "Evolution" ... which might be of greater concern if I could read my textbooks."

Tinsley, Bruce. Mallard Fillmore. http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/fun/mallard.asp?date=20050918 (accessed 20 Sept 2005)

Monday, September 19, 2005

Cookie Salad

I sent to a party/BBQ last night, and one of the guests had brought this fruit salad sort of thing. It was delicious, but I couldn't quite put my finger on exactly what was in it. So when she offered to write down the recipe for someone, naturally I asked for a copy. And here it is. Enjoy!

Cookie Salad

1 small box vanilla instant pudding
1½ cups buttermilk
1 12-ounce tub Cool Whip or equivalent
1 tall can mandarin oranges
1 large can pineapple tidbits
14 Keebler Elfwich cookies (shortbread w/ fudge filling)

Beat pudding and buttermilk together. Add Cool whip, oranges, and pineapple. Mix thoroughly and refrigerate until cold. Just before serving, crush cookies and mix in. Recipe may be doubled for large groups.

Four Hours

From Rumblings and Rantings comes this challenge:

...Win 2 hours on XM radio, where, if you win, they play your music. And that got me to thinking what I would program. So, here without much ado, is the challenge. Program roughly two hours of music that you would have played on the radio station, and either as a group, or individually explain why you choose the songs you did.

Challenge accepted. And I have two lists. First, the easy one. For this list, each entry must meet these two criteria:
1. From a progressive band (or having a progressive feel) and
2. No less than eight minutes (8:00) long.

Here is the Epic Prog Mix:
1. Rush: 2112 (20:33)
2. Genesis: Home by the Sea / Second Home by the Sea (11:15)
3. Rocket Scientists: Escape (10:03)
4. Kansas: Distant Vision (8:47)
5. Dream Theater: A Change of Seasons (23:06)
6. Anderson Bruford Wakeman Howe: Order of the Universe (9:05)
7. Illuvatar: Late of Conscience (8:58)
8. Singularity: Lenses (15:55)
9. Spock's Beard: At the End of the Day (16:28)
Total run time: 2:04:10 (Or so says WinAmp)

Okay, so that was pretty easy. Now for a more challenging list. This one, like Curtis' list, is made up of little-known artists whose music I enjoy. This list wanders even further abroad than his does, though. Pretty much everyone should find at least a few songs they like here.

Michael's (Seemingly) Random Music Mix:
1. Pallas: Arrive Alive
2. Ahmet & Dweezil Zappa: Baby One More Time
3. Jason Boland and the Stragglers: Backslider Blues
4. Dem Brooklyn Bums Big Band: Baseball Bat Boogie
5. HB Radke & the Jet City Swingers: Coffee and Pepto
6. Lana Lane: The Dream that Never Ends
7. Jimmy Buffett: Elvis Imitators
8. Clint Black: A Good Run of Bad Luck
9. Plato's Halo: In the Pink
10. Roger Clyne & the Peacemakers: Jack vs. José
11. The Al Di Meola Project: Kiss My Axe
12. After Forever: Leaden Legacy
13. Candy Dulfer: Lily Was Here
14. Gary Hoey: Linus and Lucy
15. Diana Krall: Love Me Like a Man
16. Robert Earl Keen: Mariano
17. Girls from Mars: Never Too Told to Swing
18. John Hiatt: Perfectly Good Guitar
19: Nitty Gritty Dirt Band: Ripplin' Waters
20: Marillion: Seasons End
21: Micky & the Motorcars: Shaft
22: The Start: Shakedown!
23: Todd Snider: The Talkin' Seattle Grunge Blues
24: Cowboy Troy: Texas
25: Chet Atkins & Mark Knopfler: There'll Be Some Changes Made
26: Cross Canadian Ragweed: Wanna Rock & Roll
27: The New Morty Show: White Wedding / Rebel Yell Medley
Total run time: 2:02:58

There, that ought to freak out a few XM listeners.

Friday, September 16, 2005

Multiple Meme Magic

Part I: Friday's Feast
Friday's Feast, 16 September 2005.

Appetizer Do your closer friends tend to be male or female? Why do you think that is?
I tend to make more female friends than male friends, though I tend to stay closer to the male ones. I'm not sure why in either case.

Soup If you could wake up tomorrow with a new talent, what would it be?
Solving the Schrödinger wave equation in less than half an hour.

Salad Name a household cleaning item that you would recommend to others.
Spray N Wash Stain Stick. In my experience, it's the very best at getting tough stains of clothes. If you drip and spill like I do, you'll love it.

Main Course What do you strive for in life?
I strive to find my place and purpose in the world, and then to fulfill it.

Dessert On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being highest, how funny do you consider yourself?
I'm freakin' hilarious. At least 8½. Maybe as high as 9½.


Part II: Top Five on Friday
Top Five on Friday from The Music Memoirs:

Top Five Questioning Songs (As always I give you the option of using songs with the word Question in the title or songs that ask questions...it's your choice.)

When I was in school, I was taught that the question words were Who, What, When, Where, Why, and How? So here we go:

Who Can It Be Now? (Men At Work)

What Have I Done To Deserve This? (Pet Shop Boys)

"When did Mötley Crüe become classic rock?" (Bowling for Soup, 1985)

Where You Goin' Now? (Damn Yankees)

Why Me? (Mike + the Mechanics)

(Of course, the top How is Steve Howe, longtime guitarist for Yes and Asia, among others. And in honor of high school chums Derek and Jay, who used to sing the song during Knowledge Bowl trips, I was really tempted to use Frank Zappa's "Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?")

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Consider This

I found the following quote at The Thoughts of Hondonius Aurelius:

"The amount of intelligence on the planet is a constant. The population is growing."

Now, just for a little thought exercise, let us consider two postulates we might draw from this statement:

Postulate A: The total combined intelligence of the entire population of Earth, I, is a constant.

Postulate B: The population of the planet follows the usual exponential growth model P = P0 × ekt , where P is the current population, t is time, P0 is the initial population at some arbitrary time t = 0, and k is a proportionality constant.


We can define the average intelligence of an individual, Ia, as the total amount of intelligence divided by the total population:

» Ia = I / P ; or

» Ia = I / ( P0 × ekt )

Implicit in Postulate B is the idea that the total population grows, rather than decreases, with time. So as time goes on, the total population changes, and the average intelligence changes with it:

» Ia = lim [t -> infinity] I / ( P0 × ekt )

Since t is an exponent, P0 × ekt increases exponentially with an increase in t. Since this expression is in the denominator, an increase in t leads to a large decrease in the value of the resultant expression. Specifically, as t becomes very large, Ia becomes very small:

» lim [t -> infinity] I / ( P0 × ekt ) = 0

In conclusion, as time goes to infinity, the average intelligence of any new member of the popluation approaches zero. Quod erat demonstrandum.

Go on. Take a look at the people around you and tell me I'm wrong.

Monday, September 12, 2005

It's Two! Two! Two Memes in One!

Part I: Friday's Feast
Friday's Feast, 9 September 2005.

Appetizer Who is the easiest person for you to talk to?
I have four easiest persons to talk to: Derek, Curtis, Nancy, and of course, my Mom. (Doctor Freud, paging Doctor Freud...)

Soup If you could live in any ancient city during the height of the quality of its society and culture, which one would you choose?
While it's tempting to say Alexandria (for the library, as Curtis said), I'm going to go with somewhere in Mesoamerica. It would be really cool to see what daily life was like among the Mayas or the Incas. We still know so little about them.

Salad What is the most exciting event you've ever witnessed?
I was living not far from downtown Salt Lake City when the Winter Olympics rolled through in 2002. That was pretty exciting.

Main Course If you were a celebrity, what would you do for a publicity stunt?
Celebrity hockey night. That way I could body check the other celebrities that annoy me the most (i.e., Rush Limbaugh, Natalie Maynes, Kwayme West, etc.).

Dessert What do you consider the ideal age to have a first child?
The 'ideal age' to start having children would probably be young enough so that I'd have a realistic chance of seeing their children be born, grow up, get married, and have kids of their own. In other words, some time in my past.


Part II: Top Five on Friday
Top Five on Friday from The Music Memoirs:

Top 5 "Medical" Songs (These can have anything to do with the medical profession, doctors, drugs, or ailments.)

Industrial Disease by Dire Straits
One of the most insightful and amusing pieces of social commentary I've ever seen. Dylan wishes he could write a song like this.

Bad Case of Loving You (Doctor, Doctor) by Robert Palmer
Love is kind of like a disease sometimes, isn't it? Or at least an addiction.

Don't Fear the Reaper by Blue Oyster Cult
This is included because of an SNL sketch: "I've got a fever ... and the only cure is more cowbell!"

Like a Surgeon by "Weird Al" Yankovic
Classic Al.

Cat Scratch Fever by Ted Nugent
Come on, it's The Nuge. How can this song not be on the list?

Friday, September 09, 2005

In The Shuffling Madness

Yes, it's been busy in Michael's world these last couple of weeks. Here are some of the highlights.

I seem to have contracted a virus. Yes, I've officially got my first cold of the season. I held off until October last year, but no such luck this time around. I was completely exhausted on Tuesday and Wednesday and moderately exhausted yesterday. Today isn't so bad. The dry, scratchy throat I've endured for the last few days is mostly gone, but it's been replaced by congestion and a runny nose. This is usually a sign that my body has turned the corner, so I'm looking forward to a complete recovery very soon. Praise heaven and pass the Alka Seltzer Plus.

--

Unfortunately, my computer has also contracted a virus. The PC Guard virus, to be specific. And my virus scanning software isn't able to remove it fully. So I've done a little research online and found a procedure that should get it taken care of. But between work and school, I haven't had the 30-60 minutes I'm estimating it's going to take to get it done. Sunday morning, probably.

I'd like to be upset about this, but it's my own stupid fault. Firefox was running a little slow one day, and I was impatient, so I decided to try my luck with Internet Exploder. D'oh! I clicked on a link that didn't go where I thought it was going, got a multiplicity of pop-up windows, and that was that. Carp. Memo to self: Microsoft is the Great Satan.

--

I had another run-in with the Tzarina again tonight. We have a very limited amount of work for the weekend, so the decision was made that only those who are scheduled for the weekend shift could come in. I don't know whether she had actually listened to the voice mail message that makes everyone aware of such things, although I suspect that she had and didn't like what she heard. Our conversation went something like this.

Tzarina: What's the shift for tomorrow?
Me: It runs from ten to four for those who are scheduled.
Tzarina: And what if I'm not scheduled?
Me: Then you have tomorrow off.
Tzarina: Really?
Me: Yes, really.
Tzarina: Why?
Me: We've only got enough work to accommodate those who are scheduled.
Tzarina: So I can't come in?
Me: No.

At this point, I'm thinking—or maybe just hoping—that the conversation is over. I should have known better.

Tzarina: Well, if it makes any difference, this is the only day I've been able to work this week.
Me: [thinking] So you're going to get to work two times this week, and I get to be here for both of them. Imagine my joy.
Tzarina: Doesn't seniority count for anything here?
Me: [thinking] No, but we occasionally make exceptions to things like this for those who are good performers. Maybe you should give that a shot sometime.

In the end, I told her that the only way she's be able to work is if she came in tomorrow and someone who was scheduled didn't show up. So in all likelihood, I'll be dealing with her again tomorrow. Imagine my joy.

--

I bought some jeans today. Yeah, that's a big deal. I apparently wear a rather odd size, and I have difficulty finding it. I can find plenty of pants that are either two inches shorter or two inches smaller around. But my particular size is almost nowhere to be found. As Curtis once pointed out, I need to lose a couple of inches—one way or the other.

So I went to a couple of stores conducive to the budget a college student working part time: K-Mart and ShopKo. No luck at either place. Then I saw a Nordstrom Rack store, so I thought I'd check it out. I went in and saw all kinds of signs promising prices anywhere from 25% to 50% off the normal price. I checked out a couple of the racks, only to find that the pants were not organized in any manner that made sense to me. And then I saw a table with jeans that looked to be pretty well organized. And they were on sale for only $67.95 a pair. WTH? Forget it. If I'm going to pay seventy bucks for a pair of jeans, they'd better have a $50 bill in the back pocket.

Finally, I saw one of those stores at which I've never shopped before: Old Navy. No, it's true. What can I say, I hate their TV commercials. But I was running out of options, so I decided to give it a shot. What a surprise: not only did they actually have jeans in my size, but they were on sale. <ted>Most excellent!<ted> So now, at the age of 37 and for the first time in my natural life, I own some Old Navy clothes. Am I stylin' or what?

--

I got two new callings in Church over the past couple of weeks. I'm still the ward newsletter coordinator (or "Zion's paperboy", as I like to call it). And I've been acting as a pretty regular substitute teacher in Sunday school. Well, I'm no longer a substitute. They actually called me to be an instructor. And in the process, they also called me to be the first counselor in the Sunday school presidency. My primary responsibility in the latter calling is to coordinate with the three teachers in the adult Sunday school program—one of whom is now me. That ought to be interesting.

But not as interesting as I thought things were going to be. We have Stake Conference coming up this weekend. We also just had a reorganization in my Priesthood group leadership. We had a new group leader, first assistant, and executive secretary called. This left at least one opening. I mention all of this because when I got home from work on Tuesday evening, there was a message on my machine from the secretary to the Stake presidency. They wanted to see me the following evening. This led me to one of two conclusions: a) they wanted to give me another calling, such as the vacancy mentioned above, or b) they wanted me to speak in Stake conference five days thence. Mild panic ensued. I called back the following morning and confirmed that I'd be able to come in. Then, to my considerable relief, I had another message on my machine when I got home from work that next evening. It seems they were looking for someone else, not me. Okay, so the Church leaders aren't perfect. In this case, I didn't really mind.

--

At this point, I suppose I could tell you about our trip to Montana a couple of weeks ago, or about the difficulties I had with one of my professors at the end of last semester. But I've written all I feel like writing today. Remind me to tell you about those other things sometime....

Friday, September 02, 2005

Are You Ready For Some Football?

I certainly am. As longtime readers will know, I have a special place in my heart for hockey. It's a sport for which I have a better-than-average understanding and passion. But in terms of time spent watching it, college football probably takes the title as my favorite.

Not that college football isn't without its problems, one of the largest of which is the ongoing financial and competitive imbalance between schools in the "power conferences" and the so-called "mid-majors". Teams playing in the six BC$ conferences—the ACC, Big East*, Big Ten, Big XII, Pac-10, and SEC—are generally considered better than teams from the other Division I-A conferences. Consequently, they get more TV exposure, which leads to increased revenues for the program and better recruiting opportunities. Why are these teams better? Maybe because they have bigger budgets and more visibility in recruiting—which is the natural result of having more TV exposure. And so the cycle continues. When a mid-major team like Utah has a great season and crashes the BC$ party, it's national news—for a few weeks. Now, at the start of the new season, the Utes aren't even ranked in the Top 25.

It will be interesting to see how Utah does this year. There are high expectations after last year's rather amazing season. People on campus are excited about the team. But the team's lost its best player (Alex Smith, who's in the NFL now) and its coach (Urban Meyer, who's at Florida now). A repeat of last year's Cinderella story seems unlikely, but I suppose we'll see.

I'm also interested to see how BYU will do. I was in the Cougar Marching Band for three seasons, and I still hold a special place in my heart for the Y. But the last few years haven't been kind to Cougar fans. After Gary Crowton replaced LaVell Edwards as head coach, he opened his BYU coaching career by winning his first twelve games and making a small bit of BC$-breaking noise. But alas, his team then got blown out in the final game of the season and got badly beaten in their bowl game. Three losing seasons later, Crowton is out and Bronco Mendenhall is now in. Apparently he's a disciplinarian like LaVell was. This should help, as the team seems to have lacked focus the past couple of years. We'll see. It'd be nice to see BYU as winners again.

And I'm also interested to see how Weber State will do. They have a new coach in Ron McBride, who used to be the coach at Utah (before he was driven out in favor of Urban). The man knows how to coach football, and he should make the Wildcats a better team. Of course, considering they had their worst season in school history last year, they could hardly do worse.

And now it's time for another complaint. For the past few years, the winner of the Mountain West Conference—of which Utah and BYU, as well as hometown favorites Colorado State and Air Force are members—has been eligible to play in the Liberty Bowl. That was cool. The Liberty Bowl has a long and glorious history, and the game always featured the champion of Conference USA, so we'd get to see two pretty good teams in action. Sadly, that is no longer the case.

The MWC champion for the next few years will be going to the Las Vegas Bowl. Ho hum. And they'll be playing either the 4th- or 5th-place team from the Pac-10. That's just wonderful. I can just hear the conversation now: "Congratulations on winning your conference championship! As a reward, you'll be playing a 6-5 team from the second most overrated conference in the NCAA** in a bowl game that drew 18,000 people to a 30,000 seat stadium last year." Yee-haw!

I can understand why the MWC and the Liberty Bowl went their separate ways. Geography was a real problem; not a lot of fans from Salt Lake City, Provo, and/or Fort Collins were thrilled about going to Memphis for a bowl game. But at least the MWC champion got to play another conference champion, not some also-ran who probably had to beat Idaho just to become bowl-eligible. What I would really like to see is a bowl game matching the MWC champion against the champion from the Western Athletic Conference.

There's a lot of history between these two conferences. Back in the day, the WAC consisted of eight teams, of which BYU was usually the best. After a few years the conference added Fresno State, making nine members. This arrangement worked out pretty well for all involved. Then, in an effort to grab more national market share, the WAC expanded to 16 teams in the late '90s. This resulted in a conference spread over five time zones, with teams ranging from Honolulu to Tulsa and from Laramie to Houston. After three years, the WAC collapsed under its own weight. Eight of the teams (seven long-time WAC members plus UNLV) defected and created the MWC. Much bad blood resulted, especially from long-time members Hawaii and UTEP, neither of which was invited into the new conference.

Today's WAC looks almost nothing like the 'Left Behind' WAC—only 3 of those 8 teams are still in the conference. But I still think a bowl game between these two conference champions would be fantastic. Their geography and level of play are very similar. And there are plenty of bowl sites convenient to both conferences: San Diego, Las Vegas, San Francisco, Fresno, and Honolulu come most readily to mind. Sigh. I can only dream.

While we're on the subject, why are there so many bowl games? And why do so many mediocre teams get to participate?*** Take, for example, the Big 12 (or Big XII) conference. A brief look at this year's bowl schedule shows that the Big 12 has seven guaranteed bowl tie-ins, plus an automatic birth in the BCS. So two-thirds of the teams will be playing in the postseason. All they have to do is finish with at least six wins. This means that two teams who finish in the bottom half of their conference will be going bowling, as long as they can beat all the preseason pasties they usually schedule (see: Kansas State) and win three of their eight conference games. That's ludicrous. Teams in mid-major conferences can't get away with that. What a farce.

And that brings us back to the BC$, or Bowl Championship $erie$. It's the biggest farce of all. The stated athletic goal of the BC$ is to pair up the two best teams in the country to play for the national championship of college football. The financial (real) goal is to make as much money as possible for teams in the six above-mentioned conferences. It succeeds tremendously in fulfilling the second goal but routinely fails in the first. The Byzantine combination of polls and computer rankings the BC$ uses to determine who should get into the Big Game usually produces controversy rather than consensus. Teams get into the championship on reputation as much as performance, and as a result, the Big Game is as often as not a blowout.

But the BC$ is more than just a 'championship' game. It's a series of bowl games with ridiculously high monetary payouts to members of the six anointed conferences and the occasional**** mid-major party crasher. It's four games, eight teams, and, statistically speaking, a 1-in-56 chance for a non-BC$ school to get in. But that's not all. According to CollegePlayoffs.com, in 2001, 38 of 50 bowl births (76%) and $150.75 million of $160.9 million of bowl game revenues (94%) went to BC$-conference teams. Of course, the NCAA doesn't object to this imbalance between its members—it makes the NCAA a buttload of money.

The logical solution to the BC$ problem is a playoff system. It allows for the issue of a national championship to be settled by players, not reporters and computer programmers. It gives mid-major teams a shot at the big boys on the field. And it allows for a more equitable distribution of the big NCAA money pie. And for all of these reasons, it's never going to happen. The BC$ schools have too much to lose by giving up the status quo.

So another college football season begins, problems and all. But I'm still excited. So much can happen over the course of a season. Good teams can stumble, unexpected teams can soar, and every Saturday brings a wealth of exciting games and surprises. I'll be watching to see how several teams do: BYU, Utah, Weber, Colorado State, Northern Colorado, and Doane College are the main ones that come to mind. But you never know. Last year, Colorado School of Mines (where I almost went to college instead of BYU) went to the playoffs for the first time in the school's 131-year history. And I guess that's why I like college football. As heavily stacked as the system sometimes is in favor of the big guys, every so often one of little guys does something special. Hope springs eternal on the college gridiron.

--
* I'm sorry, but the Big East is not a legitimate BCS conference and hasn't been since Miami and Virginia Tech left. Louisville, who just moved over to the Big East from Conference USA, was probably in a better conference last year than it is in this year.

** The most overrated conference, of course, is the Big East (see above).

*** Naturally the answer is "Money".

**** 'Occasional' meaning 'Once in the seven-year history of the BC$' (Utah, last year).

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Thursday Morning Thoughts

My Quantum Mechanics TA said something very interesting this morning: “Almost every equation in quantum mechanics uses imaginary numbers.” I think I learned about i, the square root of -1 (such that i2 = -1), in Mrs. Schwalm's Algebra II class. That would have been 1984-1985. Now, twenty years later, I’m finally going to be using it. That's good to know.

I went into the Student Services building today and paid my tuition. For the Very. Last. Time. Mere words cannot begin to describe how good that felt. Immense gratitude goes out to Mom and Dad for the help.

I was in the break room at work for a minute last night, and I caught just a moment or two of The Simpsons. The local Fox affiliate was showing the episode where Springfield gets hit by a hurricane. Given events of the past few days, I thought the timing was in rather poor taste. I thought about writing the station an e-mail to complain, but ultimately decided against it. They’d probably think I was some nutcase who gets all worked up looking for molehills to turn into mountains—kind of like the NCAA.

Speaking of the NCAA, I can’t help but notice their lack of action in the wake of the recent disaster. By now, I would have expected someone in the NCAA to call for the University of Miami (FL) and the University of Tulsa to change their mascots (the Hurricanes and the Golden Hurricane, respectively). I can only conclude that the NCAA doesn’t mind if people die or lose their homes, as long as they’re not offended by Native American nicknames in the process.

I'm listening to Kansas' breakthrough album Leftoverture as I compose this entry. "Carry On Wayward Son" is a classic, and "Magnum Opus" is one of the better (mostly) intrumental rock songs ever. How could anyone not love this band?

Those of us who are used to watching sports are used to seeing stories of athletes behaving badly. Now, a breath of fresh air. The National Football League and the New York Yankees are each donating $1 million to relief efforts in the wake of Hurricane Katrina. And they’re not the only ones. Other athletes involved in donating and/or raising money include Titans quarterback Steve McNair and Packers quarterback Brett Favre, tennis stars Serena Williams and John McEnroe, Chicago Bulls guard Chris Duhon and Golden State Warriors guard Baron Davis, the Houston Astros, and the University of Florida football team. It’s nice to see some of the money generated by sports being used to help people.

And now I’m off to The Gateway for a bit of lunch with Nancy before heading to Ogden for the afternoon. Later, faithful reader(s).